Beauty Product of the Week: Desperado Beer

Indeed, this French brewed, tequilla laced beer is what summer is all about. Love it with a wedge of lime.

World Cup: Horn Blowing

Everyone is talking about the excessive horn blowing at the moment. I love the World Cup, don't you. The opening show yesterday was really  great, I loved hearing the Malian musicians in particular. 

As I am typing, France is playing against Uruguay...... everyone looked really tense before the game.

There is extra pressure on the France team at the moment because of an underage prostitute scandal which gripped the french press two months ago. The particular minx in question is Zahia Dehar, a French-Algerian blond bombshell who became an underage high-class escort to the stars at the tender age of 16, when she realised "that men thought she was fit and that she should might as well charge them for it."

Her clients included non other than at least 3 members of the French football team - scarfaced Ribery, Karim Benzema & Sidney Govou. These footballers took quite a shining to the EURO2,000 a night temptress, and flew her for romantic romps to cultural pillars such  as Dubai and St Tropez, so that she could read Kafka to them whilst wearing a gstring and smoking a cigar. Ok that bit is a lie.. but the rest is true. 

A case of the team that fucks together, stays together! A case of why blow your own horn, when I can do it for you honey!

La Scandaleuse

The now 18 year old lady of the night  has got media savvy balls ... here is what she reportedly told the cops and the press:

 ‘I slept with the men, but I wasn’t truthful about my age."
‘I loved them all. They treated me with utter respect and should be left alone. They spoiled me, and looked after me. They were my men.’  

MISS DEHAR STRIKES NUMEROUS POSES FOR FACEBOOK: 
Who paid for those hideous tits... they look like footballs.

France was widely criticised last year for the way they qualified for the World Cup. Thierry Henry, the former Arsenal star, was alleged to have handled the ball which set up a goal against Ireland which secured the draw France needed to go to South Africa.

How to look gorgeous at festivals

British Music Festivals are world renowned for being cool, edgy and er, rainy. But amongst the days of limited shower access, an absence of mirrors whilst being at the mercy of the elements i.e Rain,  what's a girl to do to keep looking fresh, gorgeous and sexy, when she doesn't have access to her own festival Winnebago,VIP crew pass or boutique camping tents, like some of the celebs pictured here?

What is the average girl to do, when limited shower access, cramped sweaty tent living conditions and hideous weather patterns conspire to fuck up your gorgeousness? PREPARATION IS THE KEY

HAIR FOREVER

A lot can happen in 5 days...Oh yes, we all know what happens here don't we. And dry shampoo may fluff your hair up for a bit, but once the heavens open up, your left with a cakey, greasy, powdery mess. Hats cover a multitude of sins, but then you get hat hair, which only compounds the problem. Hooded tops are hair friendly. A scarf comes in useful on the last day.

A better option in my experience is to get your hair professionally blowdried  or even better, get yourself to a 50's beauty parlour and get some Veronica Lake waves. May sound bonkers, but your do will last you through the festival, and any rain will only accentuate the curls.

Nina's Vintage Parlour. Prices start at £35 for a blowdry and £40 for a period "do."

Hershons walk in blow dry bar: Latest available style is now the The Marcel, at only £21 (and 30 minutes), which will make you look like you walked out of the silver screen.

The Wavy  Gravy - tousled beach babe rock chick hair - i.e festival hair if you had a hairdresser in your tent.

NAILS

Dark nail polish covers a multitude of sins. Get something quick drying, so that you can top up on site, when its starts to chip, if you can be bothered that is.

I love Maybellines' express finish polish in onyx.

THE THONG SONG

Wearing thongs or sandals at a UK festival is asking for trouble. Festivals are about boots... they can take you from day to night and considering the amount of walking you will need to do, a much better option. And much sexier too. Caterpillar boots keep the rain at bay -- as good as wellies.

FACE PREP

Festivals mean lots of face time with people. 

Eyes and Eyebrows: Eyelash extensions are the best for festivals and holidays. No mascara = no panda eyes in the morning, and also guarantees a glamorous look throughout. People will be amazed at how great your eyes look, day after day.

Getting your eyebrows professionally shaped can really make a difference. I always head down to the Shavata Brow Studio, at Urban Retreat in Harrods to perfect those arches.

With your eyebrows groomed and your lashes in place, you will cut down on make-up time considerably and you will always feel ready to face your public.

SKINCARE

Getting a hydrating facial before you go, if you have the time and money, is a good investment which will pay off once your there. Considering that you will be spending 5 days at Glastonbury, with little access to water and with skin wipes as your best friend.

Of course, if you must go DYI, having a good steaming session at home, followed by an intensely moisturising mask will help considerably, and making sure that you remove all traces of make-up and sunscreen will help to keep breakouts at bay. 

Always good to bring some kind of emergency cream, in case things turn red, blotchy, sunburnt or dried out. I hit the Glade Festival with a small pot of Creme De La Mer last year (you could always try blagging one at the Harrods counter). For a cheaper option, the Dr Hauschka Soothing Mask is thin enough to use a a daily moisturiser, and good to lather when you hit the sack. Another good option is a trial size version of the Dr Hauschka normalising oil, which helps the skin regulate itself whilst giving a healthy sheen to the face and decollete (you can blag one by requesting a sample from this website

Tinted moisturisers with an added SPF, is a daily option anyway, but particularly handy for festivals. Mineral water mist sprays are good for hydration and waking the skin up when access to water is a problem. Some pound stores are selling them for-- yes you guessed it -- a pound.

Make-up wise, can't live without....Benefit's realness of concealness "fake it" kit. 

Both budget friendly and beautifying, this little kit will go a long way and bring out your best features, and all for just under £20.

• ooh la lift  - to brighten your eyes.
• lip plump - to keep the lips looking sexy
• high beam- to keep those cheekbones high, and highlight any other area for that ethereal, fresh look
• lemon aid - to even out the colour of sleep deprived eyelids
• boi-ing- to conceal any breakouts.

BEAUTY SLEEP

Earplugs and eye masks are a must for drowning out the noise and daylight. At some point, the tent will feel both sweaty and dry at the same time, so a mineral water mist spray can make the "I-am-sleeping-in-a-sauna" feeling temporarily disappear. Packing a herbal-style sleeping tablet, can also help. I love CALMAID, which gives you a good dose of essential vitamins whilst you sleep and wont make you feel groggy in the morning or feeling wired from the night before. OH, and a pillow.... you won't realise how much you miss it until your faced with  a makeshift one made of a damp towel wrapped around your welly.

HAIR REMOVAL

Indeed! Apart from packing a pair of tweezers, if your legs are going to be on show, your gonna have to keep them smooth. Waxing is a good option, but what about if you shave them usually?

I recently discovered a really cool little product from Pretty Polly called the leg shaving butter. No need for water, just smother this on and follow the instructions. For underarm hair, the new Hair Minimising  Deodorant could potentially be a god sent. Or waxing beforehand at Bliss Spa.

WET WIPES

Like my mate once said, are not Magic Wipes, but they can go a long way in making a festival girl feel temporarily clean.

Pampers Sensitive Wipes. 63 per pack. £1.95 from Tesco - These have aloe and chamomile and are really gentle.

No7 Quick Thinking 4 in 1 Wipes.

 HYGIENE - with a capital H

An over-reliance on antibacterial gel means that one forgets to wash their hands, and all kinds of nasties can be picked up on a field. This may sound excessive, but I will be packing a small bowl (£1.73) to wash my hands in when getting to a tap in some god-forsaken field is not an option. Can also be used as a hat during a downpour, just gafa tape it to your head.

HOW TO KEEP GOING

1. Re hydration sachets

2. Emergen C sachets (If you log onto their website, you can claim a free sample) http://www.emergenc.com/

3.  Arnica 30c pills  - Homeopathic (please consult with chemist).

IF ALL ELSE FAILS AND YOU RUN OUT OF CHEEK TINT, JUST GET LAID!  FOR AN INSTANT BEAUTY FLASH PICK-ME UP, POST-COITAL HAPPINESS MAKES YOU LOOK GOOD WHATEVER THE WEATHER.

What to wear at Glastonbury

The whole idea of "Festival Fashion/chic"only really took off in the last 7 years, at about the same time Kate Moss started getting snapped at Glasto looking like a noughties version of Anita Pallenberg/Marianne Faithfull.


It is customary now to be  treated to pictures of all manner of celebs wondering around the festival looking very in-Vogue, complete with glossy mames and designer wellies, not to mention hotpants and boots.  In response, high-street stores like Republic and ASOS have been running capsule festival chic collections for "fashion conscious" festival goers.

Some years are all about the wellies and knee-high socks, not to mention the proliferation of hot pants. I am sure this year won't be any different. But who wants to look like a wannabe Kate Moss at Glasto?   

THE FASHION FORMULA

It doesn't matter what you wear, as long as you have something which will keep you warm at night, dry during downpours, and cool during the hot weather i.e LAYERING. Keeping warm at night is my main concern in any case, so packing gloves, a scarf, waterproof jacket, and a hat. Hoodies are the best too.

Looking good during the day is easy, if you wear something you feel comfortable and sexy in, AND which accentuates  your best feature.

For me, the most versatile item to bring - which guarantees effortless transition from day to night when combined with layering - is the bona fide "Dangerous Liason" style corset. This is my favourite style of corset, as its way more vampy to have a straight line running along the cleavage, then a plunging one.

Style wise - I love the STEAM PUNK look - a cross between victoriana, Gothic, sci-fi and mad max.

GUEST POST: Synchroni CITY

Synchronicity - by Yosh Pelicanos

 "It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards"

 Lewis Carroll – ‘Through the Looking Glass’

A Common Experience

Have you ever had the experience of thinking of a friend that you haven’t seen for years, then a moment later the phone rings and lo and behold, that very friend has called you out of the blue? Many of us have at some point in our lives have experienced an event or series of events occurring that appear to fly in the face of  pure chance and hold some deeply personal meaning for us. Some react to this by shrugging their shoulders and stating it was ‘just a random coincidence’, others are inclined to perceive the experience as something more.

Meaningful Coincidence

In 1952, Swiss psychologist Carl Gustav Jung published a paper entitled ‘Synchronicity - An Acausal Connecting Principle’ , in which he outlined his theory that synchronicity is the experience of two or more events that are apparently causally unrelated occurring together in a meaningful manner. To count as synchronicity, the events should be unlikely to occur together by chance.   

Those of you familiar with Jung’s work will be aware of his concept of the ‘collective unconscious.
He states in his book Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious (p. 43),

“My thesis then, is as follows: in addition to our immediate consciousness, which is of a thoroughly personal nature and which we believe to be the only empirical psyche (even if we tack on the personal unconscious as an appendix), there exists a second psychic system of a collective, universal, and impersonal nature which is identical in all individuals."

"This collective unconscious does not develop individually but is inherited. It consists of pre-existent forms, the archetypes, which can only become conscious secondarily and which give definite form to certain psychic contents.”

Jung saw synchronicity of proof of the idea that there is a governing dynamic that underlies the whole of human history and experience.

Plum Pudding

‘The French writer Emile Deschamps claims in his memoirs that in 1805, he was treated to some plum pudding by a stranger named Monsieur de Fontgibu. Ten years later, the writer encountered plum pudding on the menu of a Paris restaurant and wanted to order some, but the waiter told him that the last dish had already been served to another customer, who turned out to be de Fontgibu. Many years later, in 1832, Deschamps was at a dinner and once again ordered plum pudding. He recalled the earlier incident and told his friends that only de Fontgibu was missing to make the setting complete—and in the same instant, the now senile de Fontgibu entered the room.’

I think you’ll agree that’s a pretty unlikely coincidence -  but what does it all mean?

Science and Synchronicity

Interestingly, some scientific ideas allow for Synchronicity. What follows is an extract from the excellent article "A Wink from the Cosmos," by Meg Lundstrom (Intuition Magazine, May 1996) 

‘Some scientists see a theoretical grounding for synchronicity in quantum physics, fractal geometry, and chaos theory. They are finding that the isolation and separation of objects from each other is more apparent than real; at deeper levels, everything -- atoms, cells, molecules, plants, animals, people -- participates in a sensitive, flowing web of information. Physicists have shown, for example, that if two photons are separated, no matter by how far, a change in one creates a simultaneous change in the other." 

 Perhaps separated consciousnesses can operate in a similar way?

How this piece came about

Jodorowsky et cat

Strangely enough, it was a series of small synchronicities revolving around Chilean Surrealist Alejandro Jodorowsky that led me to write this article. I was originally asked to write a post about Jodorowsky’s truly bizarre unmade movie version of  Frank Herbert’s ‘Dune’. 

After a little research on Dune I was feeling unsure about what to write so I took a break. My mind wandered and I made a truly odd decision. For the first time ever, I decided to consult an online tarot reading website. I went to the first link on Google and found myself with a choice of twenty Tarot packs. 

For some reason I chose the Marseille tarot and went ahead with the reading which seemed to be quite relevant (albeit taken with a liberal pinch of salt). Intrigued, I typed ‘Marseille Tarot’ into Google and on the second page of links was astonished to see the words ‘The Tarot de Marseille restored by Camoin and Jodorowsky’. It couldn’t be the same Jodorowsky, surely? It was indeed!

See where it takes you..........

This was the second or third in a chain of coincidences involving this bizarre (and it turns out, very interesting) man so whilst it probably doesn’t sound that amazing a coincidence to the reader it’s the significance to you personally at the time that’s the key thing .in all this. This particular path I’ve followed has lead me to write about something I never expected to and also kindled my interest in Jodorowsky’s work. I find the more you open yourself up to these little signs, the more they happen – and they can lead you to unexpected and creative places.

So the next time The Universe prods you and says “Hey you!” and you get that little tingle of: “That’s a bit weird”, don’t just shrug it off. Pay attention.

Why you should start your own blog today

Blogging  demands a certain level of commitment and attention to detail.  When I first started off, Polka Dot  gave me a fantastic piece of advise when she recommended that I  "post something everyday."

Polka Dot is a very popular streetstyle blogger and photographer who captures a bit of London fashion magic everyday with her lens and write ups. She  really helped me out by including a link to my blog on hers, which has helped drive some traffic over.

As well as experiencing   blogger solidarity,  you also get to connect to people you admire, or more precisely, they connect with you because of something you wrote, which is really special on a personal level.

Just when I was about to give up on blogging after a few months of feeling like I was writing ode's to the void, I wrote a post about the cigarette I smoked whilst sitting at Greta Garbo's grave in Stockholm. The lady lite up the silver screen, so I lit up a fag to make up for lost time.

In the post, I mentioned Diana Mclellan's book "The Girls: Sappho goes to Hollywood" because her book gives the low down on just how intimate Garbo, Tallulah Bankhead and Marlene Dietrich. As one of my all time favourite reads, I like to give the book prime position on my coffee table, so when Diana actually got in touch with me, I almost rolled off my chaise longe.

Since then, Diana has played a pivotal role in encouraging me to write by praising my posts over email and staying in touch... never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that the author of my favourite book would be cheering my writing skills on!

Now, the other day I wrote about burlesque legend Catherine D'Lish - never for once thinking that she would get in touch with me.... but she did this week and it made me so happy, just like when Diana got in touch.

Here is what Catherine wrote to me:

Hello Tallulah-

First, I apologize for being so long in answering your email.

Thank you very much for the great review!!!! I am extremely flattered by your generous compliments. I really appreciate your praise and your very kind words!

Thank you again!

Catherine