Friday, 5 March 2010

The world's most annoying airline

And the Oscar for most annoying airline goes to: KLM, which stands for Karmic Liquidation  Medium. 

It was a pleasant surprise  to find out at check in that  THEY booked me into ECONOMY COMFORT and not down-right cattle class. There was room in my weary spirits for that surprise. My internal travel glow was dimmed however by the Dutch stewardess who moved this tall dashing Dutch bloke into my seat while I was in the ladies, so that a caught-in-the-headlights Indian couple could sit together. She actually moved my stuff in my absence and made me give up MY aisle seat so that her countryman could have an aisle seat, as he would only allow the Indian couple to take his seat if these terms were met. Of course, because they were both Dutch, it was handled in the most abrupt possible way. It was as if the fact that he was Dutch and travelling on a Dutch airline gave him priority – seriously, it really came across like that.

It was awkward for all involved.. I just gave in, because I could feel myself getting really annoyed by the way she spoke to me and I really didn’t want to have to get taken off the flight by some clog wearing person in a uniform. I just wanted to get out of the Netheregions really. I have done my time here now, how many more Karmic bills are out there anyway!

Oh, and they made me go through one of those body scanner things I wrote about a while back. After going through the device, they invite you to look at your scan to make it feel like you are not in an experimental live theatre production of 1984. If they see lots of little dots, you get frisked. 

Which I had to endure yet again because of an Agent Provocateur bra. So yes, I got a good boob frisking. Those bras must be made of steel or something.

I just don’t know what the point of these scanners is if they still have to frisk people because the wiring from a bra comes up. I mean really.

Yes, London Girl is turning into Grumpy Girl. I’m in Canada now and I really like what I have seen so far. Throughout the years, I have met so many lovely Canadians, particularly from Vancouver Island.  

Good thing that I didn#t let my Canadian customs experience dampen my outlook.I was greeted with an abrupt “why are you in Canada” whereas in England they would have said something more like “what is the purpose of your visit?” which sounds so much more polite and civilised, then WHY ARE YOU HERE – It kind of threw me back.

Perhaps it was a combination of the fact that I fit a profile
woman travelling alone, 
coming from Amsterdam of all places, 
oh and kind of ethnic looking complexion. 

One stumpy customs woman asked me if I spoke English. I felt like saying don’t you know who I am? I am Tallulah Keats, bitch, enjoy yourself !

1 comment:

  1. Ha ha ha ha! Maybe Agent Provocateur do it on purpose, an added extra for the sexy lady travelling alone? Hilarious that they thought you were a dodgy smuggeler, he he:) L.


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