Wednesday, 3 March 2010

Things to do in Amsterdam

In the port of Amsterdam
Where the sailors all meet
There's a sailor who eats
Only fish heads and tails
And he'll show you his teeth
That have rotted too soon
That can haul up the sails
That can swallow the moon
My beau came over to see me over the weekend, and we headed down to AMSTERDAM. The Dam is kind of like the LAS VEGAS of Europe - People come here to go a bit crazy really. I have never really been a fan, but this time  I really enjoyed myself in the Dam thanks to these key factors: Good hotel in good neighbourhood, at 5 minute walking distance from Utrechtsestraat, which is full of shops, delis, cafes, little bars ect. And not many tourists here either, its actually where Dam -mits hang out!

LOCATION: Great part of Amsterdam (think primrose hill mixed with a bit of Chelsea)  -  as its both near the city centre and canals  but far away from the hideousness of the main drags with the lost its and cheap shenanigans.  This is a boutique hotel run by friendly locals which caters for a variety of tastes and travellers. The rooms were nice, and the beds - super comfortable.

Their website has an excellent round up of where to shop, eat, party and fine dine. Click HERE to get re-directed to their website and also pick up some useful Amsterdam tips.

Only downside to my stay there was that some hysterical women kept laughing like a maniac in her room and getting up to no good in the shower with her man, which kept me awake for hours. I must be getting old – as I am usually that girl, and not the one complaining about it!

Kitsh Restaurant: This might just be one of my favourite Fine Dining restaurants in the whole world. 
Was it the fact that the food was fresh, beautifully prepared, tasted like liquid gold? Or was it the fact that the decor was superb: think Charlies Angels portraits, a live fish tank and lots of other weird and iconic nick-nackery? 
Or was it because the owner was super friendly, welcoming and attentive?
Yes, this is a restaurant that has all of these things, plus a selection of crayons you can doodle your table cloth with.

The menu varies from caviar to the Kitsch burger, which makes it accessible for every wallet and personality. You can even pore water from your own water fountain located on your table.

I had such a lovely time, and I THOROUGHLY recommend this place. In fact, I would go back to the Dam from London for a weekend just to eat here again.
TIP: Ask for the table by the window or the one by the fish tank, if making a booking over the phone.
Check out the website HERE for some pics and more info. 

They will try to rip tourists off, that is what they do. You know they will be giving you the good stuff if they pull it out of draw, as opposed to from a ready made bag. 

Now I was coerced into walking into a coffee shop, and I am happy it was this one. its called STIX which is located on the same street as Kitsh Restaurant, on Utrechtsestraat - a great place for deisgner shops, delis, cafes ect.

This coffee shop is a GOOD: Its small, clean, there is non of that hideous squat-style graffiti which characterises the other places, and the coffee is good.  As I sat by the window you can see pictured here, I saw the funniest sight - a man walking with a blow up sex doll under his arm, like if it was a newspaper or something. HILARIOUS. Unfortunatly my reactions were too slow for me to run out and take a picture. But I swear - I saw this from here.

The best thing about this place is  that you can purchase some Nepalese Temple Ball. This is the stuff to go for in the Dam, because its hard to get. I would avoid the skunk like the plague and don't drink and smoke in this city - unless you want to enjoy an amsterdam whitie.

Tip: The “menu” is located on the wall  and you have to press a button to see it - do this to avoid her giving you a look like your idiot or some tourist fuck wit from mars.
You can click HERE to be directed to their website.


No really – I cannot WAIT to get out of Den Haag tomorrow – not that its not a lovely city, its just that this whole Dutch experience is doing my nut in right now. So tomorrow I finally go long haul and head to the US.
Things I have learnt:Never relocate anywhere without asking questions like: Does the place have central heating? Is there wifi? Can I hang my clothes anywhere? Is the bathroom bigger then my ego? Does it have an iron which does not burn my clothes because it’s so cheap? Oh, and does it come with RAT?


  1. Funny - I like to go there for the skunk and not avoid it

  2. Tallulah-everything you described sounds charming. If I ever visit Amsterdam, I'll know just where to go. The US, huh! Wonder where you'll be?

  3. Hey Nothing profound - I am honoured you stopped by.

    I am not really in the US, I said that cause I am trying to keep a low profile because I am doing this high profile thing.. I am in Ca

  4. "Is the bathroom bigger then my ego?"

    He he, love it:D



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