For all those out there not familiar with this term, "Frenemy" (alternately spelled "frienemy") is a portmanteau of "friend" and "enemy" which can refer to either an enemy disguised as a friend or to a partner who is simultaneously a competitor and rival. The term is used to describe personal, geopolitical, and commercial relationships both among individuals and groups or institutions. The word has appeared in print as early as 1953.
A USER GUIDE FOR BUMPING INTO A FRENEMY AT A PARTY:
- Always make sure you look good, paying particular attention to hair and nails, as well as your overall attire. These people are out to seek a fault - and nothing says eat my dust like glossy hair.
- Compliment them on how good they look – to disarm their venom for a whole minute. Don’t expect to receive one back. Unless its “you look exactly the same” which is indefinable.
- Don’t hang around with them too long, otherwise you run the risk of experiencing an uncomfortable silence, where you will both look into each other’s eyes and see the venom.
- Keep the conversation light hearted and humorous, if at all possible. If she starts asking confrontational type questions such as “are you still saving the world?” or “where do you live? Hackney” or “didn’t you sleep with that bloke?” keep your cool, and carry on as normal, kill them with kindness. Bitchiness was never a cool state to aspire to.
- If all else fails and you’re feeling cheeky and confident, tell them that they are a frenemy of yours and that you were dreading bumping into them, but you are happy to see them again, and that they look great. This honesty technique is particularly good if you are faced with a situation where you are having a drink with not one but two frenemies at the bar. Not only do you get to see that permanent smirk of theirs wiped off their face for a couple of seconds, but it also allows you to spot who is the friend and who is the enemy, by their reaction.
- The one who comes out and says that you are not her frenemy and acts genuinely surprised by your statement can enter the temporary-friend zone. If she then starts beckoning you and the other skank to the dancefloor with “come on frenemys, let’s go and dance” like a teacher would on a day out or something, then you are onto to a keeper.
- Acknowledge your paradoxical feelings. Frenemies are hard to decipher because most of the time they have as many, if not more, positive qualities than negative ones.
- The other skank can still eat my dust though.
