London Girl

Q Awards

2011-10-25T15:00:00.000+01:00

Yesterday, yours truly was at the Q Awards.... an industry music event full of record weasels, iconic bands, living legends, hangers on (oh yes, you know who you are) and "people in the industry."

Walking down the red carpet was not as daunting as expected, although I did set off some flashes... they were probably testing their flash.

So, now for the gossip:
1. Sioux Sioux was THE star of the show....... she rocked that leather catsuit like nobody else, looked amazing, and created the biggest stur when she went out for a cigarette. It made my day to be moments away from her.. I love the BANSHEES. She spent the afternoon tied to the hip of Pam Hogg and disappearing together to the press room.

They looked hot ... both at half a decade old, they were the coolest and most sincere and more rock n roll then the whole room put together.

2. Ed Sheeran - won breakthrough artist and was much feted after. I hang out with one his mates at the after show party. He is ginger in real life.

3. U2 and Bono look exactly as you think they look

4. Jess J looked good in the flesh - bumped into her adjusting her outfit in the ladies.

5. Tiny Tempah is er.. tiny

6. Muse should have won the best act in the world - not coldplay. Chris Martin was annoyingly confident.

7.No,I did not get to shag Anthony Kiedis from Chilli Peppers

MYSTERY GIRL:
There was one girl sitting at the table next to me, who looked FANTASTIC. She was blond, wore a fabulous black dress, teamed with costume jewellery, spiked louboutins ect ect ... she looked really good

Party of the Year

2011-10-11T15:12:00.000+01:00

Julian Assange's 40th Birthday Party, was quite an experience. Yes, London Girl was there..... mingling and bidding at the auction, back in the summer.

Highlight of the party included seeing Vivienne Westwood's let-them-cupcakes attitude to catering. Dressed in gorgeous post-apocalyptic flowiness, she proceeded to eat wikileaks -logo bearing cup cake after cup cake, whilst the rest of party tried hard to listen to the speeches and not look at her.

Very hard-- she was sitting alone at one point, just devouring, cup cake after cup cake with the kind of insouciance only she could carry off. In a jodowsky-style graphic novel, Vivienne would be the Queen of The Damned and Righteous.

But what about Julian, I hear you say...... he is not what you would expect. Softly spoken and surprisingly timid. A tall and discretely imposing figure, he greeted guests under a tree, wearing a beige linen suit.

I liked him and his team. He is surrounded by great people.

Although good old Bianca was there, and Jemima hair Khan, the highlight was hanging out with the anonymous hacking crew and the frontline activists... naming no names now....

US Adventure.... London Girl style

2010-12-02T18:13:00.001Z

Venice Beach. ... bitches

A couple of weeks ago I went on a crazy party tour to LA, Vegas and New York.I packed the wrong camera cable so was unable to update my 2.4 readers of my mis-adventures, so it will all have to be in retrospect. December is USA month here on London Girl

Stay tuned for the chronicles... it was the best time of my life.

Here is a taster.....

My hotel room in Santa Monica

Andy Irons surfs onto the other side

2010-11-03T22:52:00.000Z

Andy Irons - the Hawaiian pro-surfer and three times world champion -has been found DEAD IN DALLAS. Cannot believe it - that is mental!!!! Such a great shame, such an amazing surfer

The Tarrant County Medical Examiner said the cause of death is pending due to completion of lab tests, which could take several weeks.

Andy took the SURFING world by storm. He will be remembered as the one guy in the world who could regularly beat Kelly Slater and his surfing in waves of consequence will live on forever. Just this year, Andy was one of five surfers to appear in surf movie, High Five. His part was last (given to the best performing surfer) and perfectly displayed his legendary backside tube riding skills and man-sized hacks

Andy was the most competitive big-wave surfer of his generation. Surfing was in his DNA. His uncle Rick was a legendary figure in the sport in the 60s and his father, Phil, a surfer too. The fact that Andy's younger brother Bruce also took up the sport probably fuelled his competitive drive. "All he wants to do is win. It's why he exists. It's all he thinks about. Winning heats, winning contests, surf, surf, surf, heat, heat, heat, win, win, win," is how Bruce described his brother at the height of his career
He is survived by his wife, Lyndie(pictured below in a photo shoot together), who is expecting their first child in December.
Andy Irons, surfer, born 24 July 1978; died 2 November 2010
RESPECT

London Guy #1

2010-11-03T22:25:00.000Z

London Girl Interviews are back...... today I asked a London Guy to answer the following questions:

What do you think of girls who fuck on the first night?

Depends of the girl - I don;t cling on to old fashioned notions, as far as I am concerned, it all comes down to the situation and the chemistry. But I guess the bottom line is that if the sex is good, it probably would not matter.

What is the first thing you notice about a girl?

Her walk is the first thing I notice, as well as her posture.

How long do you consciously leave until you call back?

Depends on how long I have been conscious

What is the most unappealing fashion trend at the moment?

I really don't like those over-furry boots and women that dress as if they were conceived on the set of a Duran Duran video

What fashion style do you consider timeless and classy?

Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's

If you saw a women wearing stockings underneath her skirt, would you think she was slutty or classy?

Classy -- with a right tinge of slut. Slutty and classy can come from the same tree for me.

What do you think has changed in London Girls over the past five years?

I am liking the fact that girls aren't afraid to be girls anymore. I am liking the genders finding themselves again, there was a period where women where trying to be men, and men where metrosexual

What's the worst type of driver in London? Who is your nightmare on the road?

Drivers that have no idea what is going on around them

What is your current pet hate in London supermarkets?

People who can't control their trolleys or their children and are so oblivious to what is going on around them.

Film of the Week: Octopussy

2010-11-01T21:37:00.000Z

You know how everyone has a favourite Bond film, well mine is Octopussy. It showcases Roger Moore at his debonair, witty best, the bond girls are to die for - and the whole thing is played out against an exotic Indian backdrop with some Eastern Europe intrigue thrown in.

It features not one but two Swedish bond girls - Kristina Wayborn (who plays Magda) and Maud Adams - my favourite Bond Girl and the only one to feature in two bond films - who takes up the titular role of Octopussy - the glamorous business woman and gem smuggler.

She certainly caught Bond's crown jewels.

Kristina's character Magda (pictured left) demonstrates a surprising agility and acumen for martial arts in an era predating the big female action heroines of the box office. And who can forget her balcony exit scene, when she ties her sari to the balcony banister and performs an exquisite rolling back on tissue move, showcasing her incredible legs and bikini-clad body as her gold stilletoed feet touch ground, sari fully unravelled.

Whilst Magda knows how to make one hello of an exit, Octopussy makes an unforgettable entrance: Clad in a white silk kimono with an octopus embroidered on the back, her glossy red fingertips feeding her numerous exotic fish tanks.... we cannot see her face, but can already image how beautiful and glamorous she is from her hands and kimono. As the ringleader of an all-feminine circus, the illusive Octopussy trains her girls to do more than perform in the big top.

The film has lots of little quirky segments - like the scene where Bond disembarks a boat at Udaipur and is greeted by an operative masquerading as a snake charmer who starts whistling the James Bond theme to get his attention - an uncharacteristically existential moment for a Bond film.

When Bond arrives at his hotel, walking past the swimming pool in a crisp beige suit, he attracts more than one admiring glance from the stiletto-wearing bikini clad pool-dwellers. Ah, for the good old days where broads used to hang around pools in one piece swimsuits and stilettos.That hotel by the way, the Monsoon Palace, really does exist, and my friend who spent her honeymoon there, said that they are still milking the film's legacy .. including by constantly playing the theme song.

Now I love market scenes in films, and these don't disappoint: The bicyclist seen passing in the middle of a swordfight during the tuk tuk chase sequence was in fact a bystander who passed through the shot, oblivious to the filming; his intrusion was captured by two cameras and left in the final film as an unscheduled stunt.

The plot centres around a FFaberge egg and how many women Bond can bed in under two hours - The Fabergé egg in the film is real.

Yesterday, it was announced that Bond's Aston Martin went at auction for £2.6 million pounds.

Inked Up: Jodie Marsh

2010-10-27T19:34:00.001+01:00

Now that I got Sky finally installed, I can catch up on all kinds of tattoo reality shows such as

Miami Ink - the original tattoo show, which led to several spin-offs, including the shows LA Ink and London Ink and soon to be aired Rio Ink.

Skin pimping never looked so good!

The formula is the same: Each episode features a number of customers along with their back stories (most of which are sob stories) and motivations for choosing their tattoos.

The show made Kat Von D a popular star and landed her the LA Ink spin off, which she now headlines, after a falling out with Ami James from Miami Ink (pictured above).

Her recently released book High Voltage Tattoo, compiling her artworks and tattoos, reached #6 on The New York Times Best Seller list.The book traces Von D's career as an artist, from early childhood influences to recent work, along with examples of inspirations, information about the show and her shop, sketches, and personal tattoos

"Kat is an Argentinian love goddess with a lion heart as big as California who rocks the tallest platforms, the best leather outfits, big red lips like a Latin movie star from the 50's, and a laugh that gives you smiles inside. everyone asks me--is Kat really that fun to be around? the answer is yes...from Oklahoma to Montreal, Kat is my favorite person to hang out with. Kat is the best friend a girl could have. Kat es mi familia."

The girl rocks... which now brings me to the subject I was trying to get to: Jodie Marsh.
Has anyone watched her new reality show last night, titled "Jodie Marsh: Tattoo Apprentice"

Yes, the belt for bras wearing glamour model and professional enemy of equally self-deluded Jordan, has given up the glamour work for a shot at becoming a tattoo artist. For all you US readers, Jodie is like our version of Daisy de la Hoya crossed with some Tila Tequilla.

The show starts off with shots of her in her house blabbing on about where she wants to be in life and how much she loves the tattoo world and tattooed people.

Marsh has over 70 tattoos – from her first, the word 'cheekie' tattooed on her bum, to an exact copy of the stilettos she wore as a lap dancer at Stringfellows. Classy. Even worse, she once lost a bet and had Bizarre magazine readers chose a tattoo for her - a devil tail winding out of her butt crack. Very classy.

Anyway, the lady is of course free to do as she pleases with her life, but it really annoyed me that she thought she could bypass the proper path to becoming a tattoo apprentice by refusing to do any cleaning - a cornerstone of any apprentice's experience.

You see, the tattoo world has rules, really strict ones.. rules that cannot be bent because you know so and so or you have done this or that. For starters, to become an apprentice, you need to impress an artist with a shit hot portfolio of drawings. Once you have been taken on board, you will basically need to get your head down and do whatever your tattoo teacher tells you .. its tough, it will break you, but those are the rules.

Those rules did not suit the pampered miss marsh who walked out of her first apprenticeship. She then bagged herself some training time at a local tattoo parlour run by some blokes who have a cast of her breasts hanging on the wall. Looking like a tattooed version of Jordan, she pranced around the place with her nipples permanently pocking out of her top, whilst obsessing about becoming a tattoo artist and tattooing her dad.

When she finally got to hit needle to skin, namely on her dad, the effect was just awful. It took her four hours to complete what effectively looked like a picture frame. In the real world, there would have been no way she would have been allowed to touch ink to skin.

Seriously, don't give up the day job, love

Battle for Information & Body Counts: WikiLeaks Conference

2010-10-23T11:12:00.001+01:00

As I type this, the eagerly anticipated WikiLeaks press conference in London's Embankment is set to start. Interestingly, the press officer gave the broadcast exclusive to Sky News. I was supposed to be at the conference this morning, but could not make it as preparing to go to a wedding... so here I am watching the live stream on Sky News.

Prior to the conference starting and to fill time, Sky wheeled an Amnesty spokesperson out, obviously someone who has had some good media training as he used the interview to plug an AI report about torture in Iraq and not really answer questions relating to the leaks.

US IS UP IN ARMS

So what is all the fuss about... since 3am this morning, there have been 15,000 stories on the leak on google. A very stern looking Hilary Clinton addressed the nation accusing WikiLeaks of putting people's lives at risk and US and Iraqi national security at risk. But whose "security" is she actually talking about? Hasn't this word been mis-used enough.

This kind of statement is totemic to the kind of political hypocrisy we have been brainwashed into accepting as the "usual rhetoric."

Hilary and her lot are very upset by the leaks.. History is not being written by the winners, because of a Swedish man who set up a website called WikiLeaks in 2006. Nothing beats FACTS, and data when it comes to taking on a Government which continues to feign ignorance of the devestating impact their lies, greed and actions have had on innocent civilians for nearly a decade.

According to PEW research, Obama approval ratings and support for the war decreased dramatically in the US, when the Afghanistan war log was released... so these FACTS yield incredible power... I won't be surprised if Julian gets bumped off soon. He has already been slandered with a rape charge, but it seems that that wont keep him down.

Prior to the invasion, the US administration used Amnesty International country reports on Iraq (Much to AI's chagrin) to highlight Saddam's sadistic regime - characterised by systematic torture of detainees. The coalition forces failed to establish a torture-free country, instead they helped set a new torture era in Iraq.

The human rights community has known for a long time that torture has not ceased in Iraq and that the US army and US mercenaries, as well as the British have either facilitated torture, sanctioned it or carried it out in the name of " security".

So now, the conference has started:

400,000 classified documents which shed light on actions of US army in Iraq.

After an intro from the centre for investigative journalism, WikiLeakes founder said the following:

"This disclosure is about the truth ... the first casualty of war is the truth. ..in our release of our four thousand details... we hope to correct some of the attack on the truth which occurred before, during and after the war officialy concluded. In that materials, deaths are recorded – including 66,000 civilians. "

"A collaboration was established with print media, the bureau for investigative journalism,, the Iraq Body Count, SVT, Al Jazeera, Channel 4, BBC radio and Le Monde" he forgot to mention SKY, however, which might explain why they stopped the live broadcast about 30 minutes through.

Iraq Body Count said: "We have only scratched the surface....THESE logs 15,000 previously unreported civilian deaths... equivalent to 5 9/11s.... the new deaths are concentrated in small incidents, happening all over Iraq. at checkpoints, drive by shootings, in homes.... small but relentless tragedies of the war. More than 150,000 have been killed in total, 80 % are civilians... these logs turn numbers into human beings."

"We have found a huge number of names of the deaths... we have found 100 new names of civilian deaths. The Iraq war log lists all these names, nearly four years later."

Now comes the News analysis.... Sky are not impressed.

The US government states that they have not had enough time to review the logs to put together a response.

The Times, Sky are all asking questions now.

A historical day..... I bet lips are quivering slightly, permanent smurk are being wiped off.. at least for a day. ..
http://wikileaks.org/

WikiLeaks set to release U.S war documents

2010-10-22T18:44:00.003+01:00

The WikiLeaks website will be releasing what the Pentagon fears is the largest cache of secret U.S. documents in history -- hundreds of thousands of intelligence reports compiled after the 2003 invasion of Iraq.

At 10:00am on Saturday 23^rd October, London time (BST), WikiLeaks will be announcing its latest release of information along with a number of prominent organisations who have worked on the material. The content provided at the press conference will be invaluable to anyone wishing to report or comment on the subject.

The other organisations that will be discussing the importance of this information and the work they have done on it will include an important NGO, a prominent human rights legal firm and a number of media organisations.

Send me an email if you want to attend the conference ...... registration starts at 8:30am

Black Virtue: The Chilling Chilean

2010-10-19T18:27:00.000+01:00

"Black Virtue" 1943

I fell in love with this Roberto Matta painting at the Tate Modern.

In the two side panels of this triptych the imagery has a mechanistic, science fiction quality. But in the centre the forms are organic, suggesting references to sexual parts. Matta was concerned with capturing the inner world of the mind. Black Virtue evokes a fluid mental landscape in an extreme combination of eroticism and violence.

(From the display caption August 2004)

In late 1939, after the outbreak of the Second World War, Matta moved to New York, where other European Surrealists were to spend the war years. He had his first one-man show in 1940 at the Julien Levy Gallery, New York’s centre of what was then this new import of Surrealism. It was at this point that Matta became a key figure in the development of Abstract Expressionism. He became friendly with Arshile Gorky, Robert Motherwell (who worked with him in Mexico), Jackson Pollock, and William Baziotes, and encouraged them to experiment with these new automatic techniques. Had these painters not been subsequently repackaged as the New York School, Matta would be famed as a founding father of (pan-) American Abstract Expressionism.

Roberto Matta, painter, was born on November 11, 1911, in Chiloe, Santiago, Chile. He died in Civitavecchia, Italy, on November 23, 2002, aged 91.

Angelique Houtkamp: Tattoo Fantasy

2010-10-17T18:56:00.002+01:00

Angelique is to sailor girls what artist Olivia is to pin-up models.

Angelique Houtkamp is the Dutch blond bombshell of the contemporary tattoo world. She is a world famous tattoo artist, painter and purveyor of babyskulls .. yes baby skulls!

Her body of work is characterised by its clean simple lines which are instantly recognisable and often humorous. Through her personal take of the classic sailor dog tattoos and Art Deco lines , Angelique has created an uber cool illustrated universe populated by pirate girls, sailor's sweethearts and snake ladies, amongst other darling characters.

"Classic old school tattoo imagery mixed with mythological dreams, antropomorphed critters, nautical iconography and haunting Hollywood romance by way of Angelique's distinctive painterly magic and eye for style."

I have a few framed pics of her illustrations, you can purchase yours by clicking HERE

Angelique has already released a number of books, most of which have completely sold out.

BABYSKULLS SERIES

These babyskulls are made with plaster of Paris and painted with oilpaint.They are inspired by the Hallstatt skulls, the day of the dead and the custom of adorning the bones and skulls of ancient Saints.
The majority of these are sold. Angelique is planning to make more in the future. Commissions are possible.

" Death Before Dishonor" Babyskull, Pictured left.

ALL IMAGES TAKEN FROM http://www.salonserpent.com/Home.html NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED.

Best Snake Jewellery in Town!

2010-10-15T23:01:00.001+01:00

Whenever I visit the British Museum - the totemic emblem of the British Empire(map carving over candle light anyone?) - I often find myself lusting over some of the jewellery pieces from the B.C period.

The Museum is one of my favourite places in London, it's my little urban temple... you can't help but feel insignificant and small when faced with a catalogue of what humanity has created, worshiped and immortalised, through everyday objects, artefacts, religious carvings, and of course jewellery.

As Emily Dickinson would say "The only secret people keep, is immortality" but I guess I can share my jewellery shop secret to my 2.4 readers.

Now, I covet snake jewellery. My mum was the same, she always wore an amazing silver snake bracelet. I like my snake jewellery in gold though... which is why I need to own these fabulous snake jewellery pieces from the British Museum shop, which has some fantastic gold replicas of iconic museum pieces.

JEWELLERY: Yes Please!
In the Museum's collection is an exquisite snake bracelet, realistically rendered and detailed with scales on both it's head and tail. It was created in the Ptolemaic Kingdom, the area of Egypt ceded to Alexander's general Ptolemy after Alexander's early death.
And the best bit is that you can purchase a replica for £75 from the Museum shop.

This original gold finger ring was found in Alexandria. Snake rings were worn in Antiquity as charms, possibly for protection against the evil eye or to ensure fertility. Snakes were also associated with the healing god Asclepius who is often shown with a snake coiled around a staff. Graeco-Roman, 1st or 2nd century AD.

This replica ring will set you back £50, and coils around the finger beautifully.

This beautiful gold bracelet is a replica of an original in the Metropolitan Museum of Art given as a gift by Norbett Schimmel in 1988. The original is dated circa 300-250 BC. The Museum's Snake bracelet is reproduced from a master mould taken directly from this original bracelet. The reproduction is brass with 24k gold overlay and lightly antiqued.

With Alexander the Great's conquest of the Persian Empire in 331 BC, the lands under his control stretched from Greece and Asia Minor through Egypt and the Near East to India. As a result of this contact with cultures far and wide, Greek arts were exposed to a host of new exotic influences. After Alexander seized the Persian king Darius III's rich treasure in Babylon, vast quantities of gold passed into circulation in the Hellenistic world. With widespread disposable wealth of this magnitude, gold jewellery became more popular.

Babylonian Sun Disk necklace £225

This necklace was based on an original from the 16th-17th century B.C currently housed in the Metropolitan Museum of Art. The original was created in Mesopotamia (late Babylonian period) and exemplifies the very finest craftsmanship in gold from the ancient Near East.

Composed of a double row of gold beads from which are suspended seven pendants, each in the form of a deity or the symbol of a deity. One of these pendants, a disk with rays emanating from a central boss, represents the sun god Shamash. The Museum's Babylonian Sun Disk necklace is crafted of 18-karat gold overlay and is based on this pendant.

Autumn Stockings

2010-10-13T23:41:00.000+01:00

I do love the onset of autumn, it spells fitted cashmere sweaters, wiggle skirts and, of course, seamed stockings. As regular readers know, I am a total sucker for fully fashioned silk Havana-heeled seamed stockings in Black/Nude. Quite a mouthful, I know. Cuban heel stockings in a nude heel and black seam,are also a preferred favourite.

Pop socks are the absolute devil's work
Tights are only tolerable if they come in fishnet
Hold-ups are for amateurs ( I was already wearing them as a teenager)
As for socks, I am proud to say that I do not own a pair, and never will.

The only thing better than putting stockings on....is taking them off, a la Catherine D' lish. I had the pleasure of seeing the burlesque legend taking hers off at a show, and it was quite something.

Anyway, here is the seasonal round up of the best places for stocking up on stockings!

What Katie Did - if your looking for authentic vintage and faux vintage styles and hard to find heel types - such as the Havana, pictured above and below. They also do great garters which really help keep the seam on the straight and narrow (even if you aren't).

BeBaroque - produce a fabulous line of hand made showgirl tights and occasionally pop out some stockings, such as this tasseled Roxy Heart you can see below. Very Las Vegas, don't you think. Might get these for the hell of it.

Secrets in Lace - provide a good stream of classic stockings and new designs,with lots of choice. As the official sponsors of the London Burlesque Festival, they appear to be the leaders of the feather and rhinestone pack. However, for some reason, the models they use on their websites look really outdated and un-appealing.

Dita Von Teese also has her own stocking collections available for purchase from Secrets in Lace. I have yet to try Dita's stocking collection, but I am sure they are near perfection. She is the world's most celebrated stockings wearer. after all .. and her used ones get snapped up by fans faster than you can sing:

You can pull all the stops out
Till they call the cops out
But If you wanna grind it
Wait till you refined it.

Agent Provocateur - I like what they have done with their stockings collection. The quality of the silk stockings or the fully fashioned seamed stockings with a french point is more than adequate... in fact they would be perfect if they made them in a Cuban heel too. One of my favourite shops.

So there you have it ...... if you start going down the stocking route this autumn, there will be more than just leaves falling at your feet!

Warwick Saint: Photographer

2010-10-11T21:42:00.000+01:00

Most people have come to experience photographer Warwick Saint's work through his collaboration with Lady Gaga. But long before the tea cup yielding/parma ham wearing diva got her mitts on him, Warwick had already carved himself a reputation as an iconic image maestro.

Unlike uber photographer David La Chapelle who creates fantastical images filled with crazy-arsed props and people, Warwick places huge emphasis on believability in his photographs, but not at the neglect of beauty.

"It’s got to be believable and it’s got to be beautiful,” he says.

Although Saint jokes that the key to being a good photographer is "to rock a shaved head", his incredible eye for beauty, detail and colour coupled with his talent for making people look extraordinarily beautiful, makes him one of the most popular photographers amongst models and actresses, who all crammer to get in front of his lens.

His swimsuit and sports illustrated photographs are particularly iconic, as is his Ink series of tattooed women.

Originally from South Africa, he left to come to London. In 1999, his break came courtesy of Dutch magazine, which commissioned him to shoot 'Elephant Boy.'

Sailor Dog

2010-10-10T22:22:00.000+01:00

And as you can see, the bottle comes in old sailor dog tattoos.

“Sweden’s first vodka in PET bottle. It’s also one of the first vodka made of organically grown, Swedish barley. The new Swedish eco-vodka is distilled four times and has a clean, fruity nose with some spicy aftertaste and released in a Swedish-made PET packaging for minimal environmental impact."

And if things get messy in the kitchen, you could always mop it up with sailor tattoos kitchen towel, on the left.

Ricardo Cavolo is an illustrator living in Madrid. Much of his work is inspired by the 1932 film Freaks. His art reflects his interests in the circus, the American heartland, Russia, gypsy culture and music. Some highlights from latest exhibit are featured below:

Season Fantasy Cities

2010-10-09T14:22:00.002+01:00

Spring ....... is for spending time in London hanging out in Cafe Kick on Exmouth Market after work or up in roof tops in Shoreditch. Spring in London is about The FIRSTS: sipping your first Pimms, attending your first barbecue, spotting your first spring flowers, showing off your pedicure. And if all else fails, driving to the countryside to check out the bluebell fields.

Summer .... is for Sydney, although technically it would be our winter. Sun-filled days on Copper Wharf at Aki's restaurant or flirting with Chris Isaak at the Blue Hotel (we did!). Yes Chris stays at the blue hotel when he's in Sydney, which his quite funny considering the song. Shopping for vintage finds at Bondi Markets after a sunbathing session on the north bondi rocks and heading down to the Icebergs restaurant for rock oysters as the sun sets.

Autumn ....is for Paris, because the light is gorgeous, the sky is still blue and the air is crisp. Paris has an exotic urban day spa called Sultane de Saba, where you can get a rassoul scrub and rose oil massage, and feel like you are in Marrakesh. Paris has a great kinky side too, so I love heading down to Pigalle to stock up on Cuban-heeled seamed stockings and Italian erotic comic books

Every visit to Paris must be finished off with a night at the Crazy Horse Cabaret......Trained in ballet, all the dancers are perfectly integrated into the full choreography of the piece, creating the most stunning possible nude visual effect through their movement and bodies.... and they wear Louboutins too.

Winter ..... is for Venice. How I love that place in the winter... Venice is another world, an enchanted place where sea becomes land, cars are boats, streets are canals, and reality and fantasy blur. But winter makes it even more romantic, as the mist fills the streets and the icy waters flood the cobbled street at night, so much so, that the hunky locals offer to carry you across to your doorstep. Venice is about bagging yourself a gorgeous apartment with its own private staircase leading to the canal. Very Gothic, very unforgettable.... When I was 17, my friend and I stayed in such an apartment, and I still remember how otherworldly that staircase leading to a basement filled with water appeared.

And of course, nothing beats walking across the Piazza San Marco to the Codognato-run jewellery boutique window to spot Your Memento Mori. This tiny shop full of baroque opulence, established back in 1866, always appears to be closed and actually lets very few people in.... pieces in here - most of which look like they should be in a museum - are at mind-boggling prices.

And let us not forget SEPTEMBER, as this is a season within itself....September is for enjoying the Maritime Alps on the Italian French border.

There is a small apartment I rent out in the quaint medieval village perched on a mountain, called Apricale. You get the best of both worlds, as you combine mountain living in a medieval ambiance, with La Dolce Vita style living by driving down to the coast for long lunches in San Remo.

At Xmas, the town of Apricale lights a bonfire which they have to keep going until St Nicholas.

Film of the Week: The Man Who Would Be King

2010-10-01T03:15:00.000+01:00

I have always liked Michael Cain and have never come across anyone who doesn't appreciate him as an actor, although I have heard that he is a bugger to work with, not necessarily on set but more in terms of business.

So when my friend offered me a ticket to attend the MICHAEL CAIN IN CONVERSATION event at the British Film Institute tonight, I immediately headed down to the South Bank.

Don't you just love the South Bank by the way... last week, as I crossed Waterloo Bridge after attending the London Fashion Weekend event at Somerset House, I managed to catch a glimpse of a midnight tango show that was taking place on the terrace overlooking the river , in which the tango dancers were dancing in between mini fire torches - it was pure sex.

Anyway, back to Caine - Michael is very entertaining and engaging and nearly everything he said was met with raucous laughter from the packed auditorium. Sometimes the audience was just too keen to laugh, if you know what I mean.

His lovable, no-nonsense cockney accent (although he comes from South London) sounds exactly the same as it does on film, and he looks exactly the same too -- although he is surprisingly tall. Journalist and presenter Francine Stock did the honours in terms of navigating the hour-long conversation. Apparently, Francine is one of the most sought after film star interviewers because of her knack for asking intelligent questions about their work.

As Michael amused the audience with his anecdotes, I tried hard to memorise the juicy bits:

Michael has worked with Elizabeth Taylor and said that she was very nice, although she would hate you forever if you called her Liz.Her nickname for him is Mickey.
He once had Hitchcock knock on his trailer door to ask him if he wanted to play the psycho in Frenzy, but declined the role because he didn't want to play a woman killer (he has a wife and two daughters).
He noted that Hitchcock eats steak everyday for lunch and never spoke to him again after he declined the part
Chis Nolan (director of Batman Begins) is super secretive about his scripts and has code names for his movie projects, on of which was Oliver's Girlfriend.
Caine will be playing the butler again in Batman and will start shooting in May 2011.

After the talk was finished, my friend and I bought his new biography The Elephant To Hollywood, and queued up to get it signed, which gave me the opportunity to observe the book publicist at work. As a publicist myself, I always like watching others at work.

When it came to him signing the introduction of the book, he was quite unceremonious about the whole thing, and only managed to raise his eyes briefly to meet mine to say hi, although it was nice hi. I got him to dedicate it to my dad.

In between the book signing and the screening, my friend managed to spot Caine getting ambushed by eager fans whilst he entered the gents. Ah, the life of a movie star.

After the whole book signing thing wrapped up, we took our seats to watch a screening of 1975 classic The Man Who Would Be King - starring Caine and Sean Connery as two lovable rogues in John Huston’s late career masterpiece.Again, Caine took to the mic to introduce the film.

Kipling's story was a favourite of Huston's from childhood, and he dreamed of adapting it for most of his career, originally imagining Clark Gable and Humphrey Bogart as the two ex-soldiers on a quest for glory and riches somewhere beyond civilisation. Finally made in 1975 with Caine and Connery perfectly cast as the ambitious rogue imperialists, the long-nurtured project proved worth the wait, the grandly entertaining tale becoming a late career masterpiece.

The film features some of the best exotic market scenes I have ever seen - really delightfully captured, as well as some really authentic looking tribal scenes. The Freemason references are really interesting and subtle. The plot goes something like this:

Danny Dravot (Sean Connery) and Peachy Carnehan (Michael Caine) travel to a very remote region in Afghanistan and slowly build an army from successively defeated natives. After Danny miraculously survives an arrow to the chest, the people decide that he is a God and treat him accordingly. Both of the British men are keen to get back home but not without the vast horde of gold and treasure that the locals have. Unfortunately for Danny, his mortality is revealed, and the natives turn on them

Shangri-La

2010-09-29T23:02:00.000+01:00

Back in the summer, a temporary magical city was set up in Blighty called Shangri-La. This city left a lasting impression on all those who dared to venture and experience it's full post-apocalyptic graphic novel world.

Think Blade Runner streets, shop windows "selling" all kinds of weird and wonderful things, a bar called FISH AND TITS and a nightclub called the SNAKEPIT, where bouncers would only let you in if you had a tattoo. My kind of place, you know.

The natives of this city wondered around at the stroke of midnight looking like this:

Surreal street art gave the place a really weird and wonderful movie set feel. There was even an estate agency set up selling fake slums. Most amusing.

Here are some of the photographic highlights:

Crazy street art - very much on the non-naive side.

Shop windows selling dried up dreams and un-programmed memories

Michele Lamy

2010-09-28T15:22:00.001+01:00

Despite nearly two months of blog posting absentia, London Girl still managed to attract a high volume of traffic thanks to one person and one post I wrote back in January 2010, titled: Michele Lamy Rick Owens in which I go on and on about how fascinating this women is.

This women, is of course, the one and the only: Michele Lamy.
It was actually the director of Mark Fast who first alerted me to her existence when she recounted to me how she saw her make an entrance in a Parisian Cafe during the Paris SS09 shows.

Yes, the emissary from the galactic universe of good taste, wife and muse of Rick Owens, and overall mythical figure from the fashion underworld, seems to have attracted the attention from the fashion public a couple of weeks ago, thanks to an unforgettable entrance she made at one of the fashion shows in September.

And it all started when bloggers jak and jil posted these shots.... which the masses used to project all kinds of fashion fantasies and speculations.

Of course, the Owen's are too cool to ever want to aspire to become fashion fodder. This Mad Max power couple reportedly couldn't give a flying about celebrity endorsements, advertising in Vogue or shitty perfume launches.

I have always loved the fact that Michele doesn't seem too bothered with nail polish, preferring to ink her hands and nails into the desired colour. What a classy lady. This is of course very edgy in the fashion world, but very traditional in the tribal world, where henna stained tips are still used by women.

When in doubt, follow the girl in the Barbour jacket!

2010-09-28T13:49:00.000+01:00

The British countryside is renown the world over for its rolling hills, green pastures and long country walks to the pub. This weekend saw me spending a glorious Sancere and Bollinger fueled weekend nestled in the comforting bosom of Wiltshire, at my old school friend's family stud farm. Very posh!

Ever the domestic goddess - our party which consisted of the creme de la creme from the music and film world, and er, me - were treated to a succession of food-porn esque culinary treats, straight from the arga and the outdoor BBQ.

Paddocks surrounded the estate, with millions of pounds worth of gorgeous thorough-bred horses. So beautiful are these creatures that they make us humans look like a failed galactic experiment.

Spending time in the country is usually characterised by talking about the future whilst drinking red wine, and the past whilst drinking white wine, gathered around a fire place playing rude boy scrabble.

In between meals, you sleep, keep saying how you need to move out of London, play with the numerous dogs, and catch up on reading.

But the fire place is where you close off for the evening whilst listening to New Orleans jazz records from the 30's... that is what we did anyway.

Talking of fire places..... we almost died from smoke inhalation because a city dweller took the reigns on lighting the fire without checking if the chimney vent was actually open. More bizarrely was the fact that despite the drawing room being filled with dense black smoke straight from the set of Lost, we were beckoned to come and sit by the fire, with the reassuring words it will all "be OK if we kept low."

By this, they meant keeping away from the heavy stratosphere of smoke which loomed on top of our heads. Like sheep, we rolled down like military men oblivious to the fact that we were sitting by an indoor bonfire with no ventilation, whilst paintings and grandfather clocks were covered in a layer of black smoke. Ludicrous, I know, but all the country air can really make you oblivious to danger.

The common-sense survival gene soon returned and we realised that something was most definitely rotten in Wiltshire, as I was the first to break away from the madness and head to the door for fresh air, whilst reminding everyone how easier it was to actually breath oxygen.

As panic struck across the board and we realised how monumentally oblivious and thick we had just been, the room was finally allowed to breath and frantic poking of chimney vent took place.

Despite this, smokers were still make to smoke outside. Oh the irony.

Anyway, back to the idyllic side, taking long walks across ancient woodlands and rolling hills, is what its all about. Characterised by its high downland and wide valleys, this part of the world is a true English rose.

My Summer Secret

2010-09-21T21:24:00.002+01:00

There is a secret magical place located in the south of France, deep in Cathar country.... not far from Carcassone, where my mates hold some legendary parties over the summer and live a wonderfully bohemian, TV-free lifestyle for the rest of the year. Some of them are from the circus scene, others hail from the literary and photography circles. All are fascinating, original, interesting and, more importantly, interested.

The women are tough, fresh faced and make-up free, and the men have toned tanned torsos from all the hard labour.

A group of them have pulled their efforts together to restore a 200 year old derelict manor house,and turn it into an artist commune for themselves and also provide a nurturing space for fellow free spirits. I popped over to hang out with them over the summer and came back with some wonderful memories that will warm me cockles through the winter months.

This is a shot of the heart of all the action ..... the surprisingly well-equipped semi-open air kitchen. Everyday, we would sit on a long old table in the shade having extended 2 hour lunches eating, drinking and "discussing" like only the French know how.

The track leading to the project, as they like to call it, is full-on scary complete with bendy narrow roads with mountainous drops, but when you finally get there - via a 20 minute footpath through fern blanketed woodland, you truly feel like you have stepped into another place and time.

Some people find derelict buildings eery, but I love the juxtaposition of the crumbling slate manor played out against a backdrop of blue skies and lush green foliage.

This is where we set up the all important fire for all the food cooking. Talk about open-air living.

It's not all sweetness and chasing clouds.... Someone casually mentioned that they had found a mutilated pony in the forest a few weeks before I arrived. I almost fell of my chair, as we are all sleeping in tents set up by the entrance of the forest and I have watched horror films which start off in a similar vain. I am not naive! These people don't watch tv or films, so they have no idea of how freaked out we are by mutiliated shit happening in the forest, it means three things: Psycho on the loose, wild beast in need of his shreddies OR......

Moving on

This is a shot of some of my French Friends, discussing the existence of UFOs over a breakfast, following the previous night's sighting of a mysterious flying object which hovered out of the forest and looked like a distant star, shot up into the sky at high speed but then flew across the sky emitting an airplane noise. Well butter my nose and call me motel if that wasn't a UFO. But, French people don't believe in UFOs.

FACIAL REVIEW: Ling Oxygen & Ultra Sound

2010-09-20T23:19:00.000+01:00

Pre-Baku, I decided to head down to the exclusive Beauty Works West salon in Westbourne Grove for their famous Ling Oxygen and Ultra-Sound facial, a perfect blend of beauty and science. At £125 for 80 minutes, its more expensive than a 60 minutes Creme de la Mer facial and just £20 cheaper then Bliss's iconic Triple Oxygen Facial.

So I had high expectations, especially after having read the marketing blurb:

This amazing facial is designed by New York’s hottest facialist Ling Chan, combining ancient techniques with state-of-the-art formulations for optimal skin health and radiance…and those Park Avenue Princesses thought they were going to keep her as their little secret? Oops… Sorry girls! The facial includes skin analysis, exfoliation, steam cleansing and extractions. You will then be treated to a massage, followed by the ultimate Oxygen Plasma and ultra-sound treatment, and to top it all off, a bespoke herbal mask to heal any remaining imperfections. This really is the ultimate facial, which produces phenomenal results... You’ll still be glowing well into next month!

What they forgot to mention is that Ling is very keen on extractions, and her practitioners are even keener. Now, I don't mind extractions because they can do a lot to revive a complexion, but what I was subjected to during this facial was torture! I think that the therapist went over every single past, present and future pore and excavated it like some fossicker on an archeological mission.

My cries of pain, help, despair were met with an un-sympathetic " you really need this" - so I continued to succumb to the extraction process hanging on to the thought that I will come out of this looking like a Park Avenue Princess.

Did I fuck...... the post-facial mirror checking was frightening more like Croydon Park on a lunch break, as my face was left with red patches everywhere and raised bumps, but I was told that it would go down.

VERDICT: I am impressed with how clear my nose is and how some parts of my skin look totally blemish free, however, I have yet to experience the post-facial blemish-free glow.

To be fair, they do warn that you shouldn't get this facial before a big event or wedding, as it will take 3 days for the skin to heal and for an remaining impurities to come to the surface and flake off (they give you some sample size follow up lotions to apply at home).

Either my skin is the wrong barometer from which to judge this facial or too long was spent excavating it which made the experience very uncomfortable, see painful...

One thing is for sure, I won't be coming back. If I won't glowing, I will continue to head down to Creme de la Mer, and if I want major extractions I will continue to head to Bliss, which at least leaves enough time post extractions for the calming down period.

From Baku With Love

2010-09-19T17:36:00.001+01:00

What better way to relaunch and resurrect LONDON GIRL, then by posting from Baku in Azerbaijan.... Yes, I am in Caucuses on a work mission having hung out on roof tops filled with sleazy oil-rig americanos, drunk tea with an Ambassador who was dressed in a cashmere tracksuit, attended a trial wearing court shoes, watched a clandestine broadcasting station at work, dodged a falling piece of scaffolding and got followed around by a black SUV at some point... I kid you not. And that my friends, is only the tip of the iceberg....

View from my hotel room

AZERBY WHO?

A country's history is etched on the face of its inhabitants, and Azerbaijan ain't no different. People have the most remarkable faces here: a cross-road of Persian, Russians, Mongols and Turks all played out against a backdrop of carved out slavic features.

Fresh from having shaken off the shackles of communism and all the associated drama, the country seems to be heading into a new era of controlled wealth (for some) and imposed stealth for many others.

WHAT NOT TO ASK IN AZERBAIJAN

Oh, and let me share my MAJOR faux pas..... whilst putting my shoes back on after visiting an Azerbaijani family, I noticed the replica bust of a man with imposing features on top of a cabinet, which I recognised but could not quite pin-point because they had placed a silly Mexican hat on him.

So I asked the owner of the house "who is that" pointing to the life-size replica head. As soon as I asked, I felt that I should have maybe just kept my mouth shut, as he looked at me as if I was some Alien of Armenian decent as he replied in a slightly raised/irate voice " IT'S LENIN"

Oh how I died a thousand Mongolian deaths. The shame. Of course I knew who Lenin was, but that poxy hat made it really hard for me to see the top of his head. When in doubt, fuck your curiosity, you don't need to know everything just keep your mouth shout and blend in.

Back to Blighty tomorrow...

Brick Lane Stinks of Vintage

2010-08-10T15:38:00.000+01:00

Brick Lane is one of the trendiest parts of London, celebrated for its eclectic inhabitants - ranging from the part-time mujaheddin to full time granny-chic fashionista, not to mention Jack the Ripper. Where else in London could you grab a smoked salmon and cheese bagel, an 80's shell suit and some Rick Owens shoes, not to mention Indian cuisine from all over the continent.

Overstyled StreetStyle is a state of play in these part of the woods. In fact, the area now has its own look: retro cool if you get it right, and granny-chic-hell if you get it wrong. The blokes are better dressed then the birds here I reckon.

People come to Bricklane to grab some vintage stuff, my dad is there at the moment looking for a "Gandhi-style shirt" I wonder if he was talking about a Mao Collar.

When I lived there 6 years ago, I loved popping into Beyond Retro and checking out their amazing Kimono collection and 50's dresses. These days, I prefer the glunge look and that is why I really love this snooty designer shop... 127 Bricklane.

They hold a wonderful handpicked capsule collection which includes Maison Martin Margiela and of course, RICK OWENS.

Oh My Blog

2010-08-10T15:09:00.000+01:00

Now that I have finally faced my blog again, cleared some of the cobwebs... its time to get back to business.

The travelling pianist

It took them 3 months to build this block of flats with a train crashing through the building... at night it was the place of much fun and shenanigans

The Mysterious Mad Men: Only in Blighty would such a juxtaposition exist

Yes, Glastonbury was like two months ago, and it is time for me to let go and move on.

But, first, here are some pics from that unforgettable festival, where I shared some moments of pure magic with my loved ones.

Greenfields craziness at dawn

On the way to the greenfields

Glastonbury 2010 Photos

2010-07-04T12:26:00.002+01:00

Walking back from the SLASH gig, I could not resist snapping these two.

GLASTONBURY 2010 will go down in history as one of the most epic, eclectic and mind-boggling music festivals ever, and I am so happy to be able to say that I was there. Well, me and 170,000 other punters.

The organisers pulled out all of the stops for the 40th Anniversary of the music festival, and the weather gods conspired to assure that we were baking in 30 degree heat throughout, wiping the smurk of the faces of all those who shun the festival for its rain and wind battered weather patterns.

As temperatures soared, clothes dropped off and acid tabs dropped in......

When your faced with 170,000 people and fuck knows how many stages and performances to get to, getting anywhere becomes a sensory and visual extravaganza, full of all kinds of obstacles and distractions.

WALKING is what everyone does at Glasto. We must have clocked at least 3 hours of walking everyday..... a population on the move, day in day out.

BOYZ ARE BACK IN TOWN...

Graffiti testament for those who did not make it...."Wish u was here Steph"

Beauty Product of the Week: Desperado Beer

2010-06-11T20:59:00.000+01:00

Indeed, this French brewed, tequilla laced beer is what summer is all about. Love it with a wedge of lime.

World Cup: Horn Blowing

2010-06-11T20:11:00.002+01:00

Everyone is talking about the excessive horn blowing at the moment. I love the World Cup, don't you. The opening show yesterday was really great, I loved hearing the Malian musicians in particular.

As I am typing, France is playing against Uruguay...... everyone looked really tense before the game.

There is extra pressure on the France team at the moment because of an underage prostitute scandal which gripped the french press two months ago. The particular minx in question is Zahia Dehar, a French-Algerian blond bombshell who became an underage high-class escort to the stars at the tender age of 16, when she realised "that men thought she was fit and that she should might as well charge them for it."

Her clients included non other than at least 3 members of the French football team - scarfaced Ribery, Karim Benzema & Sidney Govou. These footballers took quite a shining to the EURO2,000 a night temptress, and flew her for romantic romps to cultural pillars such as Dubai and St Tropez, so that she could read Kafka to them whilst wearing a gstring and smoking a cigar. Ok that bit is a lie.. but the rest is true.

A case of the team that fucks together, stays together! A case of why blow your own horn, when I can do it for you honey!

La Scandaleuse

The now 18 year old lady of the night has got media savvy balls ... here is what she reportedly told the cops and the press:

‘I slept with the men, but I wasn’t truthful about my age."
‘I loved them all. They treated me with utter respect and should be left alone. They spoiled me, and looked after me. They were my men.’

MISS DEHAR STRIKES NUMEROUS POSES FOR FACEBOOK:
Who paid for those hideous tits... they look like footballs.

France was widely criticised last year for the way they qualified for the World Cup. Thierry Henry, the former Arsenal star, was alleged to have handled the ball which set up a goal against Ireland which secured the draw France needed to go to South Africa.

How to look gorgeous at festivals

2010-06-06T16:49:00.000+01:00

British Music Festivals are world renowned for being cool, edgy and er, rainy. But amongst the days of limited shower access, an absence of mirrors whilst being at the mercy of the elements i.e Rain, what's a girl to do to keep looking fresh, gorgeous and sexy, when she doesn't have access to her own festival Winnebago,VIP crew pass or boutique camping tents, like some of the celebs pictured here?

What is the average girl to do, when limited shower access, cramped sweaty tent living conditions and hideous weather patterns conspire to fuck up your gorgeousness? PREPARATION IS THE KEY

HAIR FOREVER

A lot can happen in 5 days...Oh yes, we all know what happens here don't we. And dry shampoo may fluff your hair up for a bit, but once the heavens open up, your left with a cakey, greasy, powdery mess. Hats cover a multitude of sins, but then you get hat hair, which only compounds the problem. Hooded tops are hair friendly. A scarf comes in useful on the last day.

A better option in my experience is to get your hair professionally blowdried or even better, get yourself to a 50's beauty parlour and get some Veronica Lake waves. May sound bonkers, but your do will last you through the festival, and any rain will only accentuate the curls.

Nina's Vintage Parlour. Prices start at £35 for a blowdry and £40 for a period "do."

Hershons walk in blow dry bar: Latest available style is now the The Marcel, at only £21 (and 30 minutes), which will make you look like you walked out of the silver screen.

The Wavy Gravy - tousled beach babe rock chick hair - i.e festival hair if you had a hairdresser in your tent.

NAILS

Dark nail polish covers a multitude of sins. Get something quick drying, so that you can top up on site, when its starts to chip, if you can be bothered that is.

I love Maybellines' express finish polish in onyx.

THE THONG SONG

Wearing thongs or sandals at a UK festival is asking for trouble. Festivals are about boots... they can take you from day to night and considering the amount of walking you will need to do, a much better option. And much sexier too. Caterpillar boots keep the rain at bay -- as good as wellies.

FACE PREP

Festivals mean lots of face time with people.

Eyes and Eyebrows: Eyelash extensions are the best for festivals and holidays. No mascara = no panda eyes in the morning, and also guarantees a glamorous look throughout. People will be amazed at how great your eyes look, day after day.

Getting your eyebrows professionally shaped can really make a difference. I always head down to the Shavata Brow Studio, at Urban Retreat in Harrods to perfect those arches.

With your eyebrows groomed and your lashes in place, you will cut down on make-up time considerably and you will always feel ready to face your public.

SKINCARE

Getting a hydrating facial before you go, if you have the time and money, is a good investment which will pay off once your there. Considering that you will be spending 5 days at Glastonbury, with little access to water and with skin wipes as your best friend.

Of course, if you must go DYI, having a good steaming session at home, followed by an intensely moisturising mask will help considerably, and making sure that you remove all traces of make-up and sunscreen will help to keep breakouts at bay.

Always good to bring some kind of emergency cream, in case things turn red, blotchy, sunburnt or dried out. I hit the Glade Festival with a small pot of Creme De La Mer last year (you could always try blagging one at the Harrods counter). For a cheaper option, the Dr Hauschka Soothing Mask is thin enough to use a a daily moisturiser, and good to lather when you hit the sack. Another good option is a trial size version of the Dr Hauschka normalising oil, which helps the skin regulate itself whilst giving a healthy sheen to the face and decollete (you can blag one by requesting a sample from this website

Tinted moisturisers with an added SPF, is a daily option anyway, but particularly handy for festivals. Mineral water mist sprays are good for hydration and waking the skin up when access to water is a problem. Some pound stores are selling them for-- yes you guessed it -- a pound.

Make-up wise, can't live without....Benefit's realness of concealness "fake it" kit.

Both budget friendly and beautifying, this little kit will go a long way and bring out your best features, and all for just under £20.

ooh la lift - to brighten your eyes.
lip plump - to keep the lips looking sexy
high beam- to keep those cheekbones high, and highlight any other area for that ethereal, fresh look
lemon aid - to even out the colour of sleep deprived eyelids
boi-ing- to conceal any breakouts.

BEAUTY SLEEP

Earplugs and eye masks are a must for drowning out the noise and daylight. At some point, the tent will feel both sweaty and dry at the same time, so a mineral water mist spray can make the "I-am-sleeping-in-a-sauna" feeling temporarily disappear. Packing a herbal-style sleeping tablet, can also help. I love CALMAID, which gives you a good dose of essential vitamins whilst you sleep and wont make you feel groggy in the morning or feeling wired from the night before. OH, and a pillow.... you won't realise how much you miss it until your faced with a makeshift one made of a damp towel wrapped around your welly.

HAIR REMOVAL

Indeed! Apart from packing a pair of tweezers, if your legs are going to be on show, your gonna have to keep them smooth. Waxing is a good option, but what about if you shave them usually?

I recently discovered a really cool little product from Pretty Polly called the leg shaving butter. No need for water, just smother this on and follow the instructions. For underarm hair, the new Hair Minimising Deodorant could potentially be a god sent. Or waxing beforehand at Bliss Spa.

WET WIPES

Like my mate once said, are not Magic Wipes, but they can go a long way in making a festival girl feel temporarily clean.

Pampers Sensitive Wipes. 63 per pack. £1.95 from Tesco - These have aloe and chamomile and are really gentle.

No7 Quick Thinking 4 in 1 Wipes.

HYGIENE - with a capital H

An over-reliance on antibacterial gel means that one forgets to wash their hands, and all kinds of nasties can be picked up on a field. This may sound excessive, but I will be packing a small bowl (£1.73) to wash my hands in when getting to a tap in some god-forsaken field is not an option. Can also be used as a hat during a downpour, just gafa tape it to your head.

HOW TO KEEP GOING

1. Re hydration sachets

2. Emergen C sachets (If you log onto their website, you can claim a free sample) http://www.emergenc.com/

3. Arnica 30c pills - Homeopathic (please consult with chemist).

IF ALL ELSE FAILS AND YOU RUN OUT OF CHEEK TINT, JUST GET LAID! FOR AN INSTANT BEAUTY FLASH PICK-ME UP, POST-COITAL HAPPINESS MAKES YOU LOOK GOOD WHATEVER THE WEATHER.

What to wear at Glastonbury

2010-06-06T16:45:00.001+01:00

The whole idea of "Festival Fashion/chic"only really took off in the last 7 years, at about the same time Kate Moss started getting snapped at Glasto looking like a noughties version of Anita Pallenberg/Marianne Faithfull.

It is customary now to be treated to pictures of all manner of celebs wondering around the festival looking very in-Vogue, complete with glossy mames and designer wellies, not to mention hotpants and boots. In response, high-street stores like Republic and ASOS have been running capsule festival chic collections for "fashion conscious" festival goers.

Some years are all about the wellies and knee-high socks, not to mention the proliferation of hot pants. I am sure this year won't be any different. But who wants to look like a wannabe Kate Moss at Glasto?

THE FASHION FORMULA

It doesn't matter what you wear, as long as you have something which will keep you warm at night, dry during downpours, and cool during the hot weather i.e LAYERING. Keeping warm at night is my main concern in any case, so packing gloves, a scarf, waterproof jacket, and a hat. Hoodies are the best too.

Looking good during the day is easy, if you wear something you feel comfortable and sexy in, AND which accentuates your best feature.

For me, the most versatile item to bring - which guarantees effortless transition from day to night when combined with layering - is the bona fide "Dangerous Liason" style corset. This is my favourite style of corset, as its way more vampy to have a straight line running along the cleavage, then a plunging one.

Style wise - I love the STEAM PUNK look - a cross between victoriana, Gothic, sci-fi and mad max.

GUEST POST: Synchroni CITY

2010-06-04T19:32:00.004+01:00

Synchronicity - by Yosh Pelicanos

"It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards"

Lewis Carroll – ‘Through the Looking Glass’

A Common Experience

Have you ever had the experience of thinking of a friend that you haven’t seen for years, then a moment later the phone rings and lo and behold, that very friend has called you out of the blue? Many of us have at some point in our lives have experienced an event or series of events occurring that appear to fly in the face of pure chance and hold some deeply personal meaning for us. Some react to this by shrugging their shoulders and stating it was ‘just a random coincidence’, others are inclined to perceive the experience as something more.

Meaningful Coincidence

In 1952, Swiss psychologist Carl Gustav Jung published a paper entitled ‘Synchronicity - An Acausal Connecting Principle’ , in which he outlined his theory that synchronicity is the experience of two or more events that are apparently causally unrelated occurring together in a meaningful manner. To count as synchronicity, the events should be unlikely to occur together by chance.

Those of you familiar with Jung’s work will be aware of his concept of the ‘collective unconscious.
He states in his book Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious (p. 43),

“My thesis then, is as follows: in addition to our immediate consciousness, which is of a thoroughly personal nature and which we believe to be the only empirical psyche (even if we tack on the personal unconscious as an appendix), there exists a second psychic system of a collective, universal, and impersonal nature which is identical in all individuals."

"This collective unconscious does not develop individually but is inherited. It consists of pre-existent forms, the archetypes, which can only become conscious secondarily and which give definite form to certain psychic contents.”

Jung saw synchronicity of proof of the idea that there is a governing dynamic that underlies the whole of human history and experience.

Plum Pudding

‘The French writer Emile Deschamps claims in his memoirs that in 1805, he was treated to some plum pudding by a stranger named Monsieur de Fontgibu. Ten years later, the writer encountered plum pudding on the menu of a Paris restaurant and wanted to order some, but the waiter told him that the last dish had already been served to another customer, who turned out to be de Fontgibu. Many years later, in 1832, Deschamps was at a dinner and once again ordered plum pudding. He recalled the earlier incident and told his friends that only de Fontgibu was missing to make the setting complete—and in the same instant, the now senile de Fontgibu entered the room.’

I think you’ll agree that’s a pretty unlikely coincidence - but what does it all mean?

Science and Synchronicity

Interestingly, some scientific ideas allow for Synchronicity. What follows is an extract from the excellent article "A Wink from the Cosmos," by Meg Lundstrom (Intuition Magazine, May 1996)

‘Some scientists see a theoretical grounding for synchronicity in quantum physics, fractal geometry, and chaos theory. They are finding that the isolation and separation of objects from each other is more apparent than real; at deeper levels, everything -- atoms, cells, molecules, plants, animals, people -- participates in a sensitive, flowing web of information. Physicists have shown, for example, that if two photons are separated, no matter by how far, a change in one creates a simultaneous change in the other."

Perhaps separated consciousnesses can operate in a similar way?

How this piece came about

Jodorowsky et cat

Strangely enough, it was a series of small synchronicities revolving around Chilean Surrealist Alejandro Jodorowsky that led me to write this article. I was originally asked to write a post about Jodorowsky’s truly bizarre unmade movie version of Frank Herbert’s ‘Dune’.

After a little research on Dune I was feeling unsure about what to write so I took a break. My mind wandered and I made a truly odd decision. For the first time ever, I decided to consult an online tarot reading website. I went to the first link on Google and found myself with a choice of twenty Tarot packs.

For some reason I chose the Marseille tarot and went ahead with the reading which seemed to be quite relevant (albeit taken with a liberal pinch of salt). Intrigued, I typed ‘Marseille Tarot’ into Google and on the second page of links was astonished to see the words ‘The Tarot de Marseille restored by Camoin and Jodorowsky’. It couldn’t be the same Jodorowsky, surely? It was indeed!

See where it takes you..........

This was the second or third in a chain of coincidences involving this bizarre (and it turns out, very interesting) man so whilst it probably doesn’t sound that amazing a coincidence to the reader it’s the significance to you personally at the time that’s the key thing .in all this. This particular path I’ve followed has lead me to write about something I never expected to and also kindled my interest in Jodorowsky’s work. I find the more you open yourself up to these little signs, the more they happen – and they can lead you to unexpected and creative places.

So the next time The Universe prods you and says “Hey you!” and you get that little tingle of: “That’s a bit weird”, don’t just shrug it off. Pay attention.

Why you should start your own blog today

2010-06-04T14:59:00.000+01:00

Blogging demands a certain level of commitment and attention to detail. When I first started off, Polka Dot gave me a fantastic piece of advise when she recommended that I "post something everyday."

Polka Dot is a very popular streetstyle blogger and photographer who captures a bit of London fashion magic everyday with her lens and write ups. She really helped me out by including a link to my blog on hers, which has helped drive some traffic over.

As well as experiencing blogger solidarity, you also get to connect to people you admire, or more precisely, they connect with you because of something you wrote, which is really special on a personal level.

Just when I was about to give up on blogging after a few months of feeling like I was writing ode's to the void, I wrote a post about the cigarette I smoked whilst sitting at Greta Garbo's grave in Stockholm. The lady lite up the silver screen, so I lit up a fag to make up for lost time.

In the post, I mentioned Diana Mclellan's book "The Girls: Sappho goes to Hollywood" because her book gives the low down on just how intimate Garbo, Tallulah Bankhead and Marlene Dietrich. As one of my all time favourite reads, I like to give the book prime position on my coffee table, so when Diana actually got in touch with me, I almost rolled off my chaise longe.

Since then, Diana has played a pivotal role in encouraging me to write by praising my posts over email and staying in touch... never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that the author of my favourite book would be cheering my writing skills on!

Now, the other day I wrote about burlesque legend Catherine D'Lish - never for once thinking that she would get in touch with me.... but she did this week and it made me so happy, just like when Diana got in touch.

Here is what Catherine wrote to me:

Hello Tallulah-

First, I apologize for being so long in answering your email.

Thank you very much for the great review!!!! I am extremely flattered by your generous compliments. I really appreciate your praise and your very kind words!

Thank you again!

Catherine

"A Claddagh ring amongst my jewells, are you mad!"

2010-05-25T14:26:00.001+01:00

Shopping for affordable luxury joaillerie pieces for yourself, your friend or even your frenemy is akin to an urban treasure hunt in which you have to navigate through acres of conflict-ridden bad taste and re-hashed designs.

You'll most probably encounter a Claddagh ring or a very un-cosmic looking moonstone on your journey. More burning ring of fire then Lord of the Rings.

That’s why ECONE is such a fabulous shop to have on your radar. By unearthing new designers and collections at the annual London, Paris and New York jewellery shows, this His'n'Hers dream team have carved out a jewellery niche all for themselves thanks to their inherent eye for fashion forward pieces.

Their shops house an eclectic ensemble of collections which can match a wide spectrum of wallets (prices range from under £50 to over £8,000) and tastes (understated luxury, antique-chic, fairytale fantasy, edgy Englishness, tribal luxe, aloha surfer girl,etc).

From the highly covetable organic-mechanic fantasy world of Polyvore-fave Stephen Webster and his new Jewels Verne collection, to the nostalgic island holiday captured by Adore Hawaii in her Palm Tree Island inscribed ebony heart necklace, it’s easy to understand why loyal customers come here to get everything from their conflict-free engagement ring to a celebration ring to mark the birth of their first child.

Adore Hawaii Ebony Palm Tree Necklace, £45

Jewels Verne Rose Lobster Earrings £145

I popped into their Exmouth Market shop in Clerkenwell last week, and fell in love with the talismanesque Forgive & Forget Skull necklace (£96) from London-based designer Michael Milloy.

Also spotted some great hammered gold cuffs, ethical-gold coin necklaces, and a very unusual marble resin and Swarovski pearl bangle by designer Scott Wilson.

A trip to their Clerkenwell store on Exmouth Market is well worth a visit, as the location is a gem stone's throw away from Cafe Kick, which does the best Mojito. If you prefer to have less face time, their online shop is very user friendly, and perfect for any Polyvore addicts out there.

41 Exmouth Market
London
EC1R 4QL

Picnics &Pimms&Knittwits

2010-05-24T21:06:00.001+01:00

Pimms and Picnics....... is what's it all about when the first real rays of summer start hitting Blighty. The British down the gin-based drink by the gallon during the summer months.

If its just me and my beau, I usually like to pack real glasses in my vintage picnic basket, as I hate those white plastic disposable cups, everyone just bins at the end. They are always too thin and too ugly and of course, super wasteful.

For larger groups, I have recently discovered the Coco&Bo clear plastic cocktail glasses, which not only look like the real thing, but also inject a little bit of glamour to any grass gathering. They are sturdy enough to be used and abused time and time again.

Coco & Bo specialise in fabulous disposable & reusable plastic cocktail glasses and cocktail accessories. If you need some short clear straws or floating mermaids, this is the place to go to.

IMAGES FROM COCO&BO

Apart from the great selection of Martini, Mojito and other iconic cocktail glasses, they also do some fab cocktail food accessories - including their fabulous disposable snack wraps which I like to use to keep nachos and vegetable crisps in.

To visit their website, just click HERE

London Girl Pimms Recipe

It was a weekend of pimms and courgette cupcakes specially baked by a controversial Brit artist, who I greeted with "you look like that hooker in Taxi Driver" because she was looking really stylish in her denim hot pants and Lolita sunglasses. But because she is generation Y, she didn't get the style reference - which resulted in me having to dig myself out of the hole.

Of course, due to too much ingestion of Pimms in the sun, I managed to not only drop the plate with all of her delicately decorated Ghostbuster-esque greenish cupcakes - smashing them to bits, but also smear them all over my mate's shoe in the process, whilst flashing too much cleavage during the clean up.

So I spent my time apologising for calling her a hooker, apologising for ruining her cup cakes.. you get the picture.

What you will need:

Pimms
Gin
Branded lemonade
Mint
Cucumber (sliced diagonally)
Oranges
Apples
Limes
Strawberries
Blackberries or raspberries
Ice

In a jug, add two slices of orange, lemon, apple, cucumber, blackberries/strawberries per person. Then add add five parts lemonade, two parts Pimms, one part gin. Add the mint (I usually put about handful of sprigs to make it really refreshing), and make sure to stir well, whilst adding ice. Squirt the juice of one lime quarter into the mix.

When serving from jug, always make sure to include some of the mint, a slice of cucumber and one other fruit in the glass, as well as ice cubes.

London Girl Burlesque Review

2010-05-20T16:09:00.000+01:00

Last month, I put up a few review-style blog posts up after attending the London Burlesque Festival. Because of those posts, the organiser asked me to write a round-up review for their website. And it has been published today. Here is the link: http://londonburlesquefest.com/

My full article in included below. Hope you liky liky.

Who made it, who didn't?

Read all about it and come see our EYE CANDY

at London Burlesque Week Headquarters:

London Burlesque Week 2010: The Good, the Bad and the Bawdy!

Chaz Royal & Beeby Rose make an entrance

It was the biggest and best burlesque show ever to be brought to Blighty's capital city in a long time, and the line-up would have made Lydia Thompson and her British Blondes proud.

Now that the glitter dust has settled on the eight London Burlesque Week hosting venues - which saw 3000 Londoners and international burlesque connoisseurs lapping up six consecutive evenings of striptease, vaudeville variety and burlesque pageantry- let's take a look at the highlights.

From classic fan dances reminiscent of the Golden Age; hootchy-kootchy dancers; Bump'n'Grind dames; bawdy singers to circus chic and neo-burlesque starlets, LBW 2010 was larger than life, filled with innuendo and coated with glitter. But what made this year so special?

Last year, you asked Chaz Royal for more shows, more glitz, and more vaudeville, so this year he brought you the Peepshow, Twisted Cabaret, The Speakeasy and Sexy Circus Sideshow along with the Battle Royale Newcomers Contest and the Jetsetters Ball. And of course, because he couldn't bring you all to see Burlesque legend Catherine D'Lish, Chaz brought Catherine over to you.

And judging by the sold out events and toxic-levels of decadence at the shows, this year's festival of tease wouldn't have been possible without the fab-glam audience in attendance, who made the whole thing such a roaring success.

“The London audience dress in style and are as much a part of the show as the performers themselves! The festival has grown in leaps every year and I thank the patrons first and foremost.” - Chaz Royal, LBW Producer

VIP Closing Ceremonies

Catherine D'Lish closing dance

When it was time to say bye bye mein herr, Chaz did it with a bang'n'grind. The VIP Closing Ceremonies & Awards at the Cafe de Paris was an opulent affair almost bursting at the seams with performers from around Europe, US and Australia. Sunday night's line-up and audience was like the who's who of the burlesque scene.
The inimitable Seattle-based compere - Armitage Shanks - suitably lubricated the evening's talent roll out. His evil honey gravelled voice and witty pun-laced humour helped set a glamorous and louche tone for the closing VIP Gala.

In between the talent seamlessly shimmying their way out of their clothes to rapturous applause and the stoically sexy clean-up kitten - Tallulah Tonic - prepping the stage, we were also treated to a Secrets in Lace's fashion show featuring the new Betty Page lingerie collection, talked through by a very bond girl-esque Agent Lynch.

And when it was time for the grand finale, the atmosphere was as electric as a Tesla High Voltage Punishment Corset. Catherine D'Lishes' reputation as the mistress of tease is a well-documented fact, having won nearly every striptease pageant and title available to womankind.

Renowned for her elaborate costumes, Catherine sinuously slinked on to that stage wearing a Swarovski-encrusted corseted dress, underpinned with delicate tulle creating a look of complete fantasy. And when she took her stockings off to the beat of the drum, there was steam coming off those legs and many a sweaty brow in the audience.

What other tricks will the self-proclaimed ‘King of Burlesque’ be pulling out of his little black burlesque book next time - is the question on everybody's lips.

Lara Stone gets hitched!

2010-05-17T23:18:00.001+01:00

Dutch gap-toothed horn goddess, LARA STONE, got hitched yesterday to David Williams. And this is what she wore for her big day: A £30,000 tight-fitting, flowing cream gown by Ricardo Tisci of Givenchy, that featured gold brocade and a lace-trimmed train. What a cool couple!

Ronnie Corbett told how the wedding descended into farce as Matt Lucas wheeled in the wedding cake dressed as fat fighter Marjorie Dawes, from Little Britain.

Gaza Surfers: Wild at Heart

2010-05-16T22:15:00.000+01:00

Gaza surfers

It's always fascinating to hear stories of how subcultures and alternative scenes take root in music and sport. A couple of weeks ago I wrote a review about the insightful documentary Taqwacor: The Birth of Punk Islam, which sheds a spotlights on the Islamo-Punk subculture.

Today, I came across another fascinating Arab subculture: Palestinian Surfers. The Polynesian water sport is still a calling for the "wild at heart, locked up in cages" all over the world.

Surfing pin-up: Mahmoud El Reyashi

Taha Baker, fresh from winning London Girl's Torso of the Week, poses with one of the donated City Skateboards

Amidst the rubble, blockades and daily angst, Gaza surfers are hitting the polluted beaches to forget their woes - doing what surfers all over the world do: LOOKING TO CATCH THE RIDE OF THEIR LIVES.

The various blockades mean that it has been very difficult to get stuff like paracetamol let alone surfboards into Gaza, but thanks to some great efforts and surfing solidarity which transcends ideas of race and creed, those few Gaza surfers have been able to increase in numbers thanks to donations of surfboards and related paraphernalia.

Almost as soon as word got out that there were surfers in Gaza, help was on the way: Explore Corps, Surfing 4 Peace and Gaza Surf Relief have been instrumental in helping get the Gaza surf crews kitted up and feel part of the community.

Spreading the Stoke

The US-based Gaza Surf Relief have done a commendable job in getting big name surf labels and local Californian surf shops to donate surfing goods over to the Gaza surfers.

"We are collecting surfboards, equipment, and monetary donations from all over he world to package up and send over to Jerusalem, where they will then be picked up by a non-governmental organization, taken to Gaza, and distributed to the youth."

“This is all about surfing,” they say “No politics, no religion, and no hatred.”

Extending a Surf Branch

All this wouldn't have been possible of course without the involvement

of Hawaiian-based uber surfing legend, Dorian "Doc" Paskowitz (I love this guy).

Doc is one of my heroes. Along with his 9 kids and wife, he travelled around in motorhomes living the ultimate boho-surf dream lifestyle, far from the constraints of the New World Order and all its bullshit. There is a great documentary about him.

Having read an article in the Los Angeles Times newspaper about a couple of men surfing in Gaza, he later reflected "I saw the picture of the two Arabs in the newspaper and they had one lousy beat-up board between them," he said in an interview with the BBC near his home in southern California. "And I said this simply won't do."

Paskowitz, who is Jewish himself, decided to personally hand deliver 15 new boards to Gaza in 2007. The picture on the left captures the moment. This act prompted a whole set of surfing goodwill gestures.

Paskowitz enlisted the help of a young Israeli surfer named Arthur Rashkovan (pictured on left delivering surf boards to Gaza, who in turn started up an organisation called Surfing for Peace. Together with Matthew Olsen, they helped set the ground work for what later became the Gaza Surf Club.

All they need to do now is get a girl-surfer on board to complete the picture. Surely, there must be a Palestinian girl out there who longs to carve some waves up?

On another note, at the moment 15 donated surfboards are being withheld by the Israeli army from entering Gaza.

Surfing onto the big screen

Paskowitz is reportedly accredited with this soundbite:"God will surf with the devil, if the waves are good” which is where I guess the title for a recently released surf documentary on the Gaza Surfers was inspired from.

"God Went Surfing With the Devil" charts the difficulties and dangers encountered by surfers in the region. Along the way it speaks to Israelis, Arab-Israelis, and Palestinians affected by the violence, charting their daily struggle to supersede the conflict through the joys of surfing. Filmed in the summer of 2008, this Alex Klein docofeatures footage of The Gaza Surf Club and interviews with its members. Click for teaser here.

STILL FROM THE FILM

But what is it actually like to surf in Gaza?

The sea around Gaza is heavily polluted with at least 60 million litres of raw and partially treated sewage being pumped into it every day. But the 40 odd surfers say that they pick their surfing days very carefully. Apparently, the breaks are pretty good out there too. Waves that build across 3,000 miles of the Mediterranean break on its beaches with surprising frequency and occasional intensity, according to some reports.

"Life is difficult in Gaza but surfing makes me feel free," Mohammed Abu Jayab

Sheik Khazdien Beach Surfers with Matt Olsen.

Abdel Rahmal Al Haik proudly displaying his board. This is the first time that I have ever seen a Palestinian kid look so happy in a photograph. Its just beautiful.

Very sweet shortboard donated by Farid Mosher

HOT high-street labels: Miso, Crafted

2010-05-16T19:35:00.001+01:00

CRAFTED and MISO are two really cool little high-street labels which always come out with some great garments at really affordable prices. Their clothes tend to be made of surprisingly good quality material too, which don't loose their shape after numerous washes.

CRAFTED

Skull prints, like leopard prints, have been used and abused on the high-street. But I do love this new CRAFTED Skull/butterfly print grey sweater. Only £19.99

And this combo below is perfect for work meetings, combined with some tan wedges and jewellery.

Crafted Linen Waterfall Jacket £30

Crafted Sheer Cowl £24.99

Miso Maxi Skirt £14.99

All available from REPUBLIC.COM

Bikini Body Blitz

2010-05-14T11:43:00.000+01:00

Getting me to work out is like trying to take a picture of Madonna with bingo arms: Impossible.

And because there is only so much drinking 5 cups of green tea, exfoliating thighs with coffee beans and mad passionate sex can do for a girl's figure, I decided to purchase the Tracy Anderson Method Matt Workout. Bikini season is approaching.

I can already feel what she kept referring to as "the accessory muscles" yelping at the pain they have been put through. Tomorrow of course, is another day, hence why I am taking homeopathic Arnica pills already.

For those of you not familiar with the concept of Tracy Anderson, she is the tone up tornado who gave Gwyneth Gloop her amazing legs and arms, and Shakira her body in that she-wolf video. She also trained Madonna, but they apparently fell out over incorporating ashtanga yoga into her work out.

So basically, I trust this women. The Matt Workout is very efficient because it incorporates ballet warm ups into abs, legs, arms, butt workout. As an ex-dancer, I could already feel my muscles waking up again.

The arm workouts are really fantastic, and the leg, butt and ab workouts really kill, lots of repetition and leg lifts.The moves are fluid, so you definitely work a lot of large and small muscles

There is a lot of repetition, and I mean a lot, and Tracy is not so great at giving directions, so its best to watch the whole workout first.

The running order goes something like: leg lifts with a chair, followed by standing ab work that is basically a free-form dance with little instruction, and then a number of arm exercises, first with no weights and then with virtually no weight. Next comes more leg work on the mat, a section of abs lying down and then a cool down. The moves are challenging!

Jagger Sisters: Did they save the best till last?

2010-05-12T15:31:00.003+01:00

The Jagger sisters were born to be in the spotlight. The combination of Rock Legend dad and Model Mums against a Studio 54 backdrop was always going to be a potent mixture of fame, glamour and good genes.

When I was growing up (1930's if you must know), the tabloids used to love writing stories about Jade Jagger's wild teenage antics. Then she disappeared to Ibiza, popped a few sprog and came back as the original noughties boho-babe, with eternally sun-kissed locks and limbs. Jade was wearing Louboutins way before any of the young Hollywood set caught up.

For a while, she was the queen of the London cool scene, and along with her twatty then boyfriend (don't like him because he kicked me out of his party once for telling him that he looked fucked) they held court in their lofty apartments.

I always admired Jade Jagger's style, and one must not forget that she not only managed to snare Pharrell Williams at the height of his fame, but also managed to "wear him out" with her sexual appetite. Looking back, the NERD frontman said: "I'm a horndog, but Jade was hot to rock. And, man, could she rock. She wore me right out."

She also sent Kate Moss a customised Garrard necklace with the words SLAG encrusted in diamonds because the Croydon Belle slept with her then boyfriend.

Then, we were treated to Lizzie Jagger and her carefully planned out modelling career.

Mama Jagger took good care in cultivating an air of mystery around her model off-spring by telling journos that Lizzie didn't give out interviews.

It all seemed very promising until, in my opinion anyway, she was exposed for being a thick, marketing robot model by a journalist in one of the Sunday Papers, who mercilessly attacked her being crap basically. Interviews were not her forte I guess.

Then there was the blow-job scandal (a security camera apparently filmed her going down on her bloke outside a nightclub, but Daddy Jagger managed to stop the footage from ever getting out).

I remember seeing pics of Lizzie in the papers with her young sister, Georgia May, lurking in the background. Having been already exposed to two Jagger offspring's and their high-profile antics, we weren't really expecting much from the youngest, she had too much to live up to.

No one ever thought she would now grow up into this:

Smoking Hot Cool Chick

Seen here modelling the Chanel Cruise Collection at St Tropez today, she looks like a cross between Jane Birkin, Lara Stone, Lauren Hutton, Karen Mudler..... I could go on and on.

At only 18, She is already a big-name model, having landed all sort of contracts and even a Model of the Year Award.

Here is the AP report of today's Chanel report:

Chanel, known for its stark black and white elegance, went baba cool Tuesday with a 2010-2011 cruise collection steeped in the burnt ochre hippie chic of the 1970s. Barefoot models clutching minimalist sandals and sporting cropped tweed skirt suits layered over triangular bikini tops strutted their stuff along the port of Saint-Tropez, bathed in the golden rays of the setting sun. The audience of fashion insiders — almost uniformly outfitted in oversized shades and sipping chilled rose — took it all in from the port-side Senequier cafe.

Beaded hipster belts and foot adornments and Chanel's iconic chain-strap bags in patchwork completed the anything-goes looks. While some of the girls sported knee-high gladiator sandals in gold and copper lame, most of the girls had baby blue nail polish as their sole foot adornment.

In praise of.... The Dogon

2010-05-10T22:47:00.002+01:00

Strange days we are experiencing, don't you think? The heady scent of the apocalyptic flower is blossoming in the distant mountains of doom, where the thin veil cloud covers the black moon.

So that this is why I ask myself now, more than ever, "What would a Dogon do?" When faced with a volatile volcano from the land that gave us Bjork, a country with no leader and a world which is selling mirrors to the blind.... what would a Dogon do? Because when things get serious, one must look to Sirius.

They are known for being strongly oriented toward harmony, which is reflected in many of their rituals. For instance, in one of their most important rituals, the women praise the men, the men thank and praise the women, the young express appreciation for the old, and the old recognise the contributions of the young.

The Dogon are an ancient mystical people, who still live today in the central plateau region of Mali, not far from Timbuktu. They live in remote areas, sometimes still inhabiting the cliff dwellings left for them by their ancestors.

Their impressive astronomical lore goes back thousands of years to 3200 BC.

The Dogons have studied the stars for many years and each Dogon tribe specialises in the study of a particular portion of the sky.

The Ono tribe - study Venus.

The Dommo - Orion's shield.

The Aru - the Moon,

The Dyon -the Sun.

They, therefore, also have lunar, solar, and sidereal calendars.

They knew that Jupiter had four moons, Saturn had a burning ring of fire and even more startlingly, that that there is an invisible star (Sirius B also known as Digitaria) orbiting Sirius A. The fact that they knew of Sirius A before the whole telescope era was already something, let alone that an invisible star carried out a 50 year elliptical orbit around the visible Sirius and that it also rotates on its axis. Oh, and even more startlingly, that Sirius B is a heavy star...something scientists were only able to confirm last century. The Dogons knew this millenniums ago.

What else do the Dogons know? Do they know if aliens exist? Does a bear shit in the woods?

Dogon wearing sacred mask during dance

THE NOMMOS

According to their oral traditions, a race people from Sirius B called the Nommos visited Earth thousands of years ago. The Nommos were amphibious beings that resembled alien versions of mermen and mermaids. They also appear in Babylonian, Accadian, and Sumerian myths.

The Nommos, according to the Dogon legend, lived on Sirius B - this invisible star I mentioned earlier.

They say that these alien beings landed on Earth in an "ark" that made a spinning decent to the ground with great noise and wind. According to their traditions, it was the Nommos that gave the Dogon the knowledge about Sirius B, Saturn, Jupiter etc....

And in turn, The Dogons supplied Madonna with some cosmic brasserie suggestions before her blonde ambition tour.

So did alien fish-men pay a visit to ancient Earth and give the Dogon their knowledge? Or has the leader of one of the clans been secretly watching too many STARGATE Atlantis episodes on his iPhone . You decide, but before you do, let me tell you one more about these remarkable people.....

Their priest says that "Digitaria (Sirius B) is the smallest of all stars. That - It is the heaviest of all stars and that a thimble full of the dead star's matter weighs more than forty tons."

Every fifty-years (the actual figure is 50.04 +/- 0.09 years), the time it takes for Sirius B to complete its orbit around the star Sirius A, they celebrate with a ceremony called SIGUI. They celebrate this event with a feast that marks the rebirth of the world and the time when a new "Sigui Priest" is chosen to reign for another fifty-years. No turning voters away at election booths here, I say.

They celebrate with dances that depict the Black Star orbit and paint their faces and bodies with elaborate pictures of Sirius and its companion, the Black Star.

Next party is happening in 2027 people.... London Girl will be there to report, mark my words.

Film of the week: Taqwacor: The Birth of Punk Islam

2010-05-07T13:52:00.001+01:00

Punk rock and Islam are not a common dichotomy, so when I received an invite to attend a screening of the documentary Taqwacor: The Birth of Punk Islam at the East End Film Festival last Thursday, I was very intrigued indeed. I mean its not everyday that you get to have a peek at what makes the Islamo-punk subculture tick.

This 80 minute Canadian-production directed by Omar Majeed is a long overdue look at how the underground Arab street music scene is evolving far from the media spotlight. For too long now, young Muslim men have only been associated with be-speckled chemistry students gone wrong carrying a massive kebab on their shoulders.

Inspired by Michael Muhammed Knight’s 2003 fictional novel “The Taquacores” in which he imagines a community of Muslim radicals such as Mohawked Sufis, riot grrrls in burquas, Indonesian skaters, Sudanese rude boys and gay Muslims, the subculture it has inspired has since become a very real and multi-faceted underground phenomenon.

The Tour Bus

Punk bands such as the all-girl Secret Trial featuring a Pakistani lesbian from Vancouver, Al-Thawra who pound heavy metal beats into Arabic drone, and the Pakistani punkers central to the film’s denouement, Boston’s The Komina’s ('The bastards' in Urdu), have all gained a loyal following in the US.

The movement presents itself as being against Muslim traditionalists in their own communities and against the clichés forced upon them from the outside “we’re giving the finger to both sides,” says one Taqwacore. “Fuck you and fuck you.”

One of the funniest moments in the documentary is when The Kominas thrash out a song about Guantanamo Bay at the largest Muslim gathering in North America, in front of bemused muslim conservatives and young giggling hijabi girls, who appeared to take a shining to the beatles on crack-style band.

The police were called in to remove them from the stage, and in true rock’n’roll fashion, the Pakistani guitarist started smashing his guitar on the pavement whilst ironically chanting “music is ha ram(un-holy)."

The film then travels with the band to Pakistan, where members of the first Taqwacore band, The Kominas, bring punk to the streets of Lahore.

The Komina's Album Cover: Controversial to say the least! it made a Boston Globe critic’s Top 10 list for 2008.

My favourite soundbite of the film is “Saying 'I want to fuck you during Ramadan' is as punk rock as you can get.”

The screening was then followed by a zeitgeist-style panel discussion chaired by UK filmmaker Hammad Khan, attended by none other than the producer of Infidel, an extremely self-assured, eloquent and intelligent lady who reiterated the role of humour in building cultural bridges and combat people's perception of young western Muslims.

Interestingly, whilst the panel discussion centred around how film and music can be used as means of confronting and dealing with race, faith and identity in a post post-9/11 and 7.7 era, the audience wanted to focus the discussions on the punk rock element of the film, comparing the movement to the 70's and early 80's punk rock scene which was all about rebelling against the mainstream and being anti-establishment. Interestingly, the q&a session from the audience ended up being about who knew about punk rock or defended punk rock the best, which goes to show that the movement is still alive in people's minds all these generations later.

Beauty Product of the Week: Tom Ford Private Blend

2010-05-04T21:58:00.001+01:00

Because a perfume is a beauty product after all. Your scent can make or break you, be it in business or in the bedroom.

So, in my eternal pursuit to find my perfect scent, I have turned my attentions and adoration to 4ml's worth of Tom Ford's Private Blend Neroli Portofino, for men and women.

Neroli Portofino is one of 12 fragrances in Tom Ford’s luxurious Private Blend collection.

‘Private Blend is my perfume lab; it’s a place where I can create unusual, unique fragrances, freed from the usual conventions of perfumery,’ says the man who shaved the G into Gucci (Ford shaved a tidy G into a model's lady garden for an ad campaign, under Roitfeld and Testino's watchful eye a few years ago.)

Tom Ford, a gorgeous man indeed, knows that Sex Sells. I mean check out the ad below.... full on, non?

First alerted to this blend's existence by the scent emissary from the Roja Dove’s Haute Parfumerie, located on the 5^th Floor at Harrods because I told her that I loved the scent of Neroli...... I spent a few days thinking about this scent .... but at over £100, this chess-piece inspired golden labelled bottle is not the kind of thing you just indulge in without knowing if its for you.

So I bought a 4ml sample from ebay last week .. sad I know, but I was desperate to smell it again, and see how this Italian Riviera bottled honeymoon would fit into my life before forking out the equivalent of a Eurostar ticket to Paris.

HONEYMOON SCENT OR IN IT FOR THE LONG-HAUL, DAHLING?

The fresh citrus oil and floral notes with amber undertones make me feel fresh, clean and alert.... like a well dressed Italian man, which is a new sensation for me.

My boyfriend loves it, but my gay hairdresser thinks its too citrusy, so hard to tell. No one has swooned yet and gone to me: "You smell really nice" though, and only a signature scent would spear that kind of reaction on.... so I need to give it 4ml of time to do its job.

The official perfume spiel goes something like:

A luminous opening composed of an assemblage of citrus oils. The floral heart of neroli blossom evolves towards an ambry dry-down for a cologne at once energizing, lively and assertive.

Film of the Week: Dune.... was he lynched for being too weird?

2010-05-04T14:08:00.000+01:00

Word on the street is that Paramount have confirmed Pierre Morel (Taken, District 13) as the new director of the film adaptation of one of the best science fiction novels ever written – Frank Herbert’s densely plotted Dune.

Dune is frequently cited as the world's best-selling science fiction novel, a masterpiece which has won prestigious awards, an army of followers and a three-decade span of tinsel town screen adaptation efforts.

Since 1971, man has sought to adapt this 1965 masterpiece into a visually digestible, two hour film. The process of trying to write a screenplay, design the set or direct the film within itself has almost become a rite of passage for many a film industry talent.

A case of: You aint nothing in this business unless you gained a few grey hairs trying to get this onto the silver screen, type-a-thing.

There was even a small screen adaptation at one point.

And tried, they certainly did.

Directors, set designers, screenwriters and producers – from Salvador Dali to Ridley-yes-govnor-Scott to Pink Floyd, have signed on and mysteriously signed off from the project for a variety of reasons. Each time leaving a bigger mess for the next guy to sort out.

Even the author of the book knows that it’s just too hard to translate into film, surely a red flag for anyone attempting to get this beast off the ground:“A lot of people tried to film Dune. They all failed. I tried writing a screenplay of it, once. It was rotten."

SOMETHING ROTTEN ON PLANET ARRAKIS

In Alvin Conway’s superb essay on Dune for Extrovert Magazine, he asks: If Herbert had difficulty devising a sensible screenplay from his own work, what hope could there be that anyone else could? The Dune novel was a literary animal that could swallow a writer whole.

DID THEY MAKE HIM SPIT OR SWALLOW? The Lynch experience of filming Dune

The first film adaptation by David Lynch, which was unleashed on bemused cinema goers in 1984, is a bona fida cult midnight-movie classic of the noire-baroque/raygun gothic variety.

Think baroque costumes, Matrix-style black leather/latex,

Dark City style slap heads with death on their minds, Brazil-style rayguns, golden sphinx, ornate settings with etched carvings, Blade Runner style pillars ect ect. Oh and Sting wearing a futuristic version of a prodigal messiah’s loin cloth. Nice package Sting. Is that a raygun in your pants, or are you just happy to see us?

Sting totally disowned the film by the way - he was quoted somewhere as saying that he hated it and found it confusing.

Now, over twenty years on from that cursed production, Lynch has worked hard to disown this pickled love child of a film, even though he traded directing Return of the Jedi for three years of Dune production hell.

"In particularly Lynchian fashion, the director’s credit of the TV version of Dune lists the fictitious name of ‘Alan Smithee’ as director, and the name of ‘Judas Booth’ as screenwriter in the extended TV cut. Judas betrayed Jesus, and Booth killed Lincoln. If Dune’s plot wasn’t crystal clear for many devoted Herbert fans, Lynch’s intentions certainly were. The studio had betrayed him and killed his movie" says Alvin Conway in his article.

Looking back, an artistically-castrated Lynch reflected:

“That picture cut me off at the knees, maybe even a little higher. I went pretty insane on that picture. Little by little, I was making compromises. It was like, ‘We have to watch David. If he goes in the direction of Eraserhead, we’re dead in the water,’ so I had to be restrained. I just feel into this middle world. It was a sad place to be.” Poor baby.

Despite the huge production budget, elaborate sets and the all star cast which included Patrick Stewart sporting a mullet (yes a mullet), a pre-Evangelista Kyle MacLachlan and many others you only recognise by face and not name (like that crazy arsed shoe killer woman in the James Bond films), the film flopped dramatically at the box office.

ENTER THE CULT STATUS BLUEPRINT

After $50 million was spent on production costs, 1700 people were employed, 80 sets were built and 16 different sound stages set up, 20,000 studio extras and 53 speaking roles had been cast – what did the critics have to say:

"This movie is a real mess, an incomprehensible, ugly, unstructured, pointless excursion into the murkier realms of one of the most confusing screenplays of all time.” Roger OUCH Ebert

The critics slammed it for being too complicated, long and weird. And in those days, critics yielded incredible power on how films were received.

One person who actually did appreciate Lynch’s vision was the author himself, who went on to say: "The characters are exactly as I have envisioned them... sometimes even better..."

One of the biggest failures of the Lynch version, in my opinion anyway, is the poor special effects in the film, which compared to Alien, Blade Runner and Star Wars, looked totally amateurish at times, which created a barrier between the film and the viewer. If the plot seemed totally unrealistic, the poor special effects combined with the three-hour lenght of the film did nothing to make it more "real". It might not be the most expensive b-movie ever made, but that might just be one reason why it has become a cult classic.

Another reason, as the Larkin-esque passage of time has shown, is that films that flopped upon release because they were too ahead of their time are usually endowed with the correct blueprint for becoming cult classics – especially when a whole legion of people start getting excited about the director’s final cut.

Blade Runner, which came out two years before Dune, was utterly slated for being dark, complicated and dystopian. It was only with the proliferation of VCR coupled with the release of a whole set of Director’s cuts, that it started gaining real popularity, and that all too desirable cult status, which directors covet.

Dune never had the whole Director's Cut phenonmenon, but it had a whole lot of style, originality and even magic about it, which has made it a firm favourite with even the most discerning sci-fi lover. I know because I have actually surveyed my two favourite sci-fi heads, one of which is on the board of Star Wars trivia heads. And they have both agreed that Dune is a Sci-Fi great.

Before poor Lynch got his mitts on Dune, it was a Alejandro Jodorowsky project, which didn’t even make it to the screen in the first place because he blew the budget on ~~Peruvian marching powder~~ pre-production. This is what the author had to say:

“Alejandro Jodorowsky spent a couple of million dollars in preproduction of his version. He even hired Salvador Dali as his production designer. Nothing ever happened. I'm not quite sure why it fizzled. Without exaggeration, his script would have made an eleven-or-twelve-hour movie. It was the size of a phone book. It was pretty anti-Catholic, too."

BUT WHAT IS DUNE ACTUALLY ABOUT?

Set in the far future amidst a sprawling feudal interstellar empire where planetary fiefdoms are controlled by noble houses that owe an allegiance to the Imperial House Corrino, Dune tells the story of young Paul Atreides (the heir apparent to Duke Leto Atreides and the scion of House Atreides) as he and his family accept control of the desert planet Arrakis, the only source of the "spice" melange, the most important and valuable substance in the universe. The story explores the complex and multi-layered interactions of politics, religion, ecology, technology, and human emotion, as the forces of the Empire confront each other for control of Arrakis and its "spice".

A SOURCE OF INSPIRATION PERHAPS?

Come to think of it, the central plot line surrounding the mining of “spice melange – the most valuable substance in the universe ”sounds familiar to Avatar don’t you think?

But then, that should not come as a surprise, as the book is The Grand Daddy of science fiction comparable only to Lord of the Rings in the epic stakes. Whilst watching it, I could see where Luc Besson got some of his character ideas for Fifth Element (the designs in Dune look just like the Mondoshawan), the Strangers in Dark City recall the various slap-heads in Dune, the prodigal girl-child in Dune has the same voice as the prodigial girl-child in Apocalypto. Scary as fuck.

In turn, some of the design looks in Dune also seems to be inspired by METROPILIS, as well as the organic-mechanic Giger look from Alien. Giger even went on to design Harkonnen throne for Dune, which was never used, but can be found in one of his museums.

FUTURE FASHION

I also think that Mcqueen must have been inspired by the look of the film somewhere down the fashion line:

Lynch, Herbert and the 1700 cast members which made this film happen, we salute you.

Alternative Fashion Week

2010-04-30T19:25:00.002+01:00

I had high hopes for Alternative Fashion Week, held in Spitafield’s market last week. Apart from the bad tailoring, non-model models and badly coordinated outfits, the thumbs down comes curtsy of the wedding band style electric synthesizer band, which accompanied each of the showcases.

The sound emanating from these people was horrendous.... like something you would hear in some geriatric Nevada brothel elevator. Why did they do this? Who’s great idea was it to have this wedding band play? You can see that poxy guitar pocking out of the shot.

Anyway, the marketing for the event seemed to imply that this would showcase designers catering for the “alternative”, see fetish crowd.... I expected clothes for the various subcultures...

I wasn’t expecting to see this:

I mean, how unflattering is this whole tableau mort.... What the fuck is that piece of cloth on the model’s head... and don’t get me started on those trousers..

They made a model look pear shaped... what hope does it leave the others.

And if it wasn’t Blackpool granny fashion, then it was WAG wannabe fashion.

That skirt on the far right was so short, that the audience was treated to a full frontal crotch shot. Call me old fashioned, but this looks kinda skanky and desperate. Perfect for queuing up to get into the roof gardens on Saturday.

Then there was the Glastonbury witch fashion brigade. Think fashionista groupie attending a wizard rock concert. The studding detail included stars and moons. Those socks, suck!

The bemused audience was also treated to space age cruise collection ... which was a cross between a snog-marry-avoid Lady Gaga wannabe and Anne Summers. Not very serious.

Marvel at these diarrhoea catching pants.. perfect for any space traveller hitting new alien colonies with bad water supplies

Its a long way down honey!

OK, OK, I will stop there. I swore I won't be a bitch on these pages.

Alexandre McQueen seemed to be behind the inspiration here... and talk about Chanel hair. Until you scroll down the picture.

Ribbon-adorned stripper shoes on the catwalk are positively criminal.

Inspired by some of the mouth guards seen in a Saudi Arabian brothel, this look spells "Take me to your leader."

And finally, for the wife of a leprechaun who is looking for an outfit to attend a fairies garden party.....

Mock Victoriana day wear, crossed with a bit of All Saints for good measure.

Now, lets talk about the audience shall we. They look bemused don't you think.

At one stage, the fashion bloke in the shades averted his eyes because the clothes were so bad. Does anyone know who he is?

LBW: Who is Agent Lynch?

2010-04-30T16:39:00.003+01:00

A special mention needs to go out to the deliciously British, emissary from the 60’s cool age: Agent Lynch, who talked the discerning audience through the Secrets in Lace Betty Page collection, which was enthusiastically modelled by some of the performers on Sunday night.

Lynch is a good sport...... when she told the audience about how blablabla was launched in the year she was born at the Burlesque Awards,,,, and then asked the audience what year they thought it was,,, someone heckled 1963... which made her burst into laughter.... it was actually 1984.

She did a terrific job hosting the mini-pin-up show for Secrets in Lace, so I just had to find out more about this Agent Lynch.

"Agent Lynch will send jaws to the floor...." TIME OUT

Photo credit: Aurelia Thevenin

London-based babe Agent Lynch is very hot... a cross between a bona-fide bond girl, Barbarella and Diana Rigg. Can it get any better? Since when has this combo existed and be allowed to go un-noticed by the masses. This country needs to be re-built using her retro-glamour DNA as a blueprint.

As an accomplished retro pin-up model and burlesque performer, as well as burlesque teacher, Agent Lynch is always flown somewhere exotic and glam to entertain the elite and not so elite with her unique mix of minxy charm, British grace, cheeky wit and beauty... but who is this woman, and where can I buy one?

"Agent Lynch, the burlesque bombshell and pin-up and all round 60s aficiondo, has been a firm favourite of the Burlesque scene for the past 3 years. A circuit fixture in her native London she also performs regularly in Paris, Milan and accross Europe. Famous for her inventive espionage, Barbarella and iconic 6os and 70s routines she has danced her way around Bollywood, been the first ever Burlesque dancer to perform in Bosnia at this years Sarajevo Film Festival and starred in music promos for bands such as Elbow, Tricky and The Enemy."

The Origin of WooMan: in her own words

Agent Lynch in a homage to the iconic Lynch Tina painting shot by fashion photographer Wendy Bevan

“Tina” the name of this an iconic picture is painted by my namesake and inspiration the painter J.H. Lynch during the early 1960s. I saw my first ever Lynch painting in a my favourite vintage shop growing up called Attica in Newcastle. And so my love affair with the Lynch girls began, even though I discovered them in my teens I only bought my first print 5 years ago ‘Autumn Leaves’ followed quickly by ‘Tina’

“Tina” captured my imagination and right then became the quintessential 1960s fantasy woman to me, more ‘Bond’ than a Bond girl. She is so perfect I wonder if she was a real person? Sadly the probably the only person who can truly tell me, the reclusive J.H. lynch, died in 1989 aged 78.

Babes with Guns
She takes the expression “is that a gun in your pocket” to new levels, as an afficianado of replica guns and so on for her pin up shots and performances. As a glamourpuss, she needs to shoot her load like any true Bond Girl, you know. This shot is just FAB, don't you think?

Picture courtesy of Alan Keohane 'The Lotus Connection, with the little gun that caused a whole lotta palava

Our Agent Lynch is favourite with magazines. Earlier this year she did this fab shoot for Jaime Perlman’s Test Magazine ( she’s the Art Director for Vogue) shot by Wendy Bevan using a Polaroid camera

Marrakesh Mis-hap

Here are some great pics of her spy story shot on location in Marrakech with Alan Keohane. Do click HERE to read the blog story and see the rest of the pics..... most amusing.

Loving this girl right now.

Agent Lynch regularly holds her Burlesque classes at Last Days of Decadence in Shoreditch and the Cobden Club in Nottinghill. Click HERE for more details.

LBW: Boris Conte picture gallery

2010-04-30T15:25:00.001+01:00

Billed as the world's biggest international burlesque festival, Chaz Royal's extravagant production came to London last week for six days of 'striptease, vaudeville variety and burlesque pageantry', continuing the revival of a long-derided theatrical art form. Here are some of the highlights of the show taken by Boris Conte, for the Guardian. Click HERE to be redirected to the Guardian picture gallery for more backstage shenanigans.

London Burlesque Week VIP Closing Party

2010-04-28T10:54:00.006+01:00

Where I sat for the show

Now that the champagne hangover has subsided, what can I say about the closing VIP Award night of the London Burlesque Week at Cafe de Paris?

F*A*B*U*L*O*U*S

It was like Oscars nights for the burlesque scene on Sunday night. Beautiful burlesque babes from around Europe, US and Australia were all in attendance to hear the nominations/winners for the various tease-tastic categories, after a week of high-octane performances across a myriad of venues in the capital.

Photo credit: Rebecca Harley
This year marks the fourth year of London Burlesque Week..... and if it keeps getting as good as this, London might just become the Burlesque capital of the world.

The Show
If you wanted to get laid with an exquisite bird of paradise like women, this is where you should have been. I swear, the angels were covering their eyes and losing a few feathers from fear of temptation.

There were so many burlesque women seated in the audience that it was hard to look at the stage sometimes. In fact I became transfixed with Rosamind Pike (or dead ringer for) who gave the best star struck stage gazing look I have ever seen.

The Man

Veteran festival producer and King of Burlesque, Chaz Royal has done it again and put together one of the world's greatest showcase of international burlesque talent. A terrific job indeed.

LBW: The Star Catherine D'Lish

2010-04-28T10:53:00.006+01:00

THE STAR

Catherine D’lish, the sultry red head from LA, is a living legend in the Burlesque scene. In fact, it was only because I knew that she was headlining at the Burlesque awards that I decided to abandon the remote control and head down to Leicester Square with my Beau in tow.

Catherine has competed in and won nearly every pageant and title available to striptease performers, holding over thirty titles such as Miss Nude USA, World’s Performer of the Year, Miss Erotic World, Showgirl of the Year, Miss Exotic America, Miss Nude International, USA’s Best Shows, Miss Exotic World, and the Burlesque Hall of Fame.

I hear that she has the most extreme collection of enormous props in the business, including a grand gilded birdcage, giant spider web, and a magnificent eight-foot tall waterfall complete with fountains and flowers.

Her bird cage act and The infamous spider web act. You can click HERE to watch it on you tube.

CATHERINE AND DITA

Don't get confused now- Catherine is all about the champagne glass, whilst Dita does the Martini glass act.

Catherine has played a vital role in shaping Dita Von Teese’s career by basically bestowing the burlesque craft over to her. Although I haven't read this anywhere, I'm pretty sure Dita was her protégé. They are both the best of friends, and Catherine is responsible for most of her stage costumes to date. By the way, Dita is looking for a protege at the moment.

The Catherine's Absinth act.... Dita has one too. Click HERE to watch it on you tube.

CATHERINE THE GREAT

Firstly, I will live to regret not having attended Catherine’s private “How to take of your stockings class” on Saturday despite having a place because this lady really knows how to take them off. There was steam coming off her legs, and many a sweaty brow as she pushed the stockings down to the beat of the music on Sunday. Never seen anyone else take off their stockings quite like that.

But then, Catherine is very special.....

Catherine knows things. She knows that one must use the whole body to seduce the audience, and that is exactly what she does. It may sound simple, but most burlesque performers don’t really do that, opting to focus more on flashing the bits or doing the theatrics, or creating a still pin-up pose...... with Catherine's shows, its like watching a tableau vivant: she takes you in with the way she moves her mame around to expose her neck, the way she looks up with those greta grabo eyes, the way she gracefully moves her fingers accross her body... a true panther woman. There ain't many like her around.

NOTICE: All photos used here are taken from the Catherine D'Lish website, no copyright infringement intended.

Catherine D'Lish and all of your props and crystals, we salute you.

LBW: The Compere, Armitage Shanks

2010-04-28T10:53:00.004+01:00

THE COMPERE: They either make or break the evening.

"One of the darkest-hearted comperes on the burlesque circuit- not only a biting ringmaster but a unique singer as well".

TIME OUT LONDON

Sunday night's compere, a certain Seattle-based Armitage Shanks, suitably lubricated the evening roll out with his evil honey gravel voice, twisted jokes (“why was Jesus nailed to the cross? because he didn't the have a safe word." Then he said to the audience: "Don’t worry, I know I am going to hell already... just look at me”).

Armitage or David Crellin as he is also known as, is probaly the best compere I've seen. Would love to hire him for my funeral or even wedding. He is that kind of compere. A true carny preacher at heart. Perfect for these apocalyptic times.

As the co-founder of Circus Contraption, his talents extend to ringmaster, vocalist and writer.

LBW: The Performers

2010-04-28T10:52:00.008+01:00

NOTICE: Because I forgot to bring my camera, I was unable to take pictures, so I have sourced some pics from some of their past shows, which show them in similar costumes. No copyright infringement intended.

Dinah Might

Photo Credit: Nick Von Fiction

“We were dazzled rabbits in the glare of her vivacity.” Roger Taylor, Queen.

Photo credit:Nick Maan

Dinah Might from London, a popular pin up and fetish model, launched the evening's debauchery with a very enchanting red fan dance. Her gorgeous toned half-Finnish body adorned in rubies, and pasties to match, Dinah has that fantastic cheesecake smile which is part pure filth part supermodel. Hard to explain, must be experience to be understood. Fantastic tits too, if you don't mind me saying. As they would say in France "Il y a du monde au balcon" which translates to "There are people on the balcony."

You can watch Dinah performing her fan dance routine at another show by clicking HERE.

Siren Stiletto

Siren Stiletto gave a fantastic rendition of diamonds are a girls best friends, which almost brought the house down with applause and cheers. Her facial expressions are so self-assured and sexy, and the comical undertone of her performance makes her huge a crowd pleaser. And the discerning crowd loved this woman. And so did I.

Her outfit was also one of the best... a customised version of the Agent Provocateur Cendrillon Playsuit (£195) which I had been lusting over for some time now. She had it adorned with swarovski crystals, and it looked sensational.

Siren Stiletto exploded onto the Burlesque scene two years ago by winning the 2007 Tournament of Tease. Siren won the 2008 London Burlesque Festival Best Newcomer title. Thanks to her unique blend of glamour, humour, incredible costumes, and a inherent gift for entertaining, she is the toast of the town at the moment.

A’dora Derriere

Antipodean deco goddess, A’dora Derriere also wore one of the best costumes of the night, an art deco inspired bejewelled body armour suit. Her billowing red satin sleeve dance was superb and very classy. Just wish I had some pics to show you.

Adora is a founding member of Sugar Blue Burlesque,a performance troupe and burlesque academy known for its fusion of classic burlesque, authentic jazz age dance, elaborate vintage costumes and crowd pleasing theatricality.

MELITTA HONEYCUP

With so much tits and arse on show, it was important for me to gage from the males attending the event (outnumbered by the women by the way) who they found really sexy. And most of uttered the word Melitta HoneyCup, a pink haired sauce pot from Barcelona, who has tattoos all over her perfect 24 year old body and a carny attitude to match. Melitta’s performance was a cross between burlesque and circus, which is a hard combination to get right because it's either too circusy or not circusy enough. Melitta had that perfect balance, and whilst she gracefully twirled on the tissue above people’s heads, carrying out dangerous and erotic moves to Lynch-like music, she was Nikita sex appeal personified.

This girl did not need seamed stocking, she had letters tattooed on the length of the back of her thighs!

You can watch Melitta doing her thang at last year's Burlesque Week by clicking HERE.

KIKI KABOOM

Kiki Kaboom was another big crowd pleaser. Winner of Best Newcomer 2009 at the London Burlesque Festival, Kiki hit the stage like a true pro to shimmy her way through an original and very cute rendition of a burlesque'n'gin version of Judy Garland, and it was SPOT ON. Not only does she look like her, but she moved like her and mimed her singing and talking brilliantly. It was really entertaining. And the crowd lapped it up big time.

Kiki at the show on Sunday, before hitting the stage

Kiki has one of the best smiles ever.... a true Burlesque babe through and through. I had actually seen her peform at a friend's charity gig about 3 years ago now, when she was kind of starting out.... so it was great to see her hit the big time like this.

I found these pics of her performance at another show.....so you have an idea of what her Judy Garland show was kinda like.

Q. If you could go back to any period in London's history when would it be? Kiki: I'd be a Jacobean wench, immortalised forever by some witty, clever and amorous young writer in a bawdy song.

Full list of performers at the London Burlesque Week closing night gala included below.

**SPECIAL GUEST**CATHERINE D’LISH" *NYC USA

A’dora Derierre *Perth AUS

Annette Betty *London

Banbury Cross *London

Captain Anchor *Edinburgh

Cici Darling *London

Dinah Might *London

Follie Dollies *Cardiff

Kiki Kaboom *London

Knickerbocker Glories *London

Melitta Honeycup *Barcelona SPA

Siren Stiletto *London

Velma Voluptuous *Stockholm SWE

Veruca Honeyscotch *NYC USA

LBW: The Audience

2010-04-28T10:52:00.007+01:00

Who was there: Burlesque performers from all over Europe, the US and Australia, sexy couples, representatives from the steam punk and rockabilly subcultures, as well as VIPs (whatever that means these days).

What they drank: Everyone seemed to be on the Rose.

What they wore: 1950’s vintage look was very popular with the ladies, a cross between Mad Men and Marilyn Monroe. Also, many women went for the 1930’s look, complete with perfect era hair, jewellery and bias cut silk dresses. Corsets were very popular as well, especially with the younger women. I went for the 1940’s Black Dahlia look, black flower, Lana Turner hair and Maison Martin Margela gloves. Felt like I was wearing too much black though. Should have had some eyelash extensions ... everyone had fake eyelashes, and it really helps frame your eyes.

Shoes: Spotted a few Louboutins, some rhinestone heeled stripper shoes and some peep toe stilettos.

Hairstyle: Matched whatever era the outfit was based on. The hairstyles were immaculate – most burlesque performers know how to do their own hair you see. Luckily I learnt how to put together the 40’s hair look when I was touring with Burlesque performers a few years back.

Hosiery: So many stockings wearing dames here, it was heaven. Most popular heel type was the French point. The clean-up kitten Tallulah Tonic was wearing the Agent Provocateur Whip Me stockings (pictured on left). My beau had a serious crush on this woman. I think she was an AP model... GREAT!
There were some fishnets of course, not as many as you think though, and I spotted not one but two bebaroque saylor tights. Thank fuck I didn’t wear mine.

I went for the Manhattan heel stocking – just in case you were wondering(pictured on right). Funny that WHAT KATIE DID call it the Manhattan Heel, whilst SECRETS IN LACE, refer to it as the Cabaret Heel.

Most beautiful women of the night: One Burlesque performer from Amsterdam who sat at the table across me... hate to gush, but she literally took my breath away with her 1940 Shanghai Opium Den look. She looked better then a Wong kar-wai film.

Most beautiful man of the night: Apart from my beau, I have to give a special shout to the Danny Dyer lookalike who worked at the downstairs bar. Oh, and a very dapper Chaz Royal who made this whole thing possible.